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» Siblings

Ah, another!
Ok, this time my younger sister did actually exercise some peculiar branch of ignorance.

She wanted to make her own stress ball, using flour and a balloon. She reasoned that the best was to get the flour in, would be to blow up the balloon, so that there would be space for the flour...and then POUR THE FLOUR IN.

I'm so glad I was there when she did this...

So she pours flour + loosens balloon neck...and gets the whole lot of it fountaining back up in her face.

Still makes me smile thinking back to that :)
(Fri 26th Dec 2008, 20:06, More)

» Not Losing Your Virginity

I am not spotty
But I am a 19 year-old virgin...

What does this say about me? I have more control over my cock than you nymphomaniacs!!

By the way I'm just on here between wanks...
(Sat 28th Oct 2006, 14:54, More)

» Terrible Parenting

I wanna be a parent...
...just so I have the chance to discipline my kids by threatening them with a live Eagle
(Thu 16th Aug 2007, 19:19, More)

» Mugged

What's the time..
Once this guy asked me and a mate for the time, so I looked at my watch, but oh no, he says 'Naww man I don't go for that kinda time, you gotta phone' Knobcheese.
(Fri 16th Jun 2006, 14:56, More)

» Messing with the Dark Side

It was terrible!
My dad got a job as caretaker at this old hotel up in the mountains, and so him, me and my mum had to move up there for a while, it was huge! One of those kinda places where the halls seem to stretch forever. I was quite apprehensive about he whole thing though, cos my wagging finger said that there was something really bad about the place. Then we met this black guy who started thinking ice creamy thoughts at me!! He says I've got this thing called 'the shining'...I think he's coming on to me...but my finger knows that he's scared of something in room 273...

Later on I was just riding my tricycle around the corridors...no-one around, we can do what we want right? Wrong!! These 2 little jailbaters come up to me and tell me to play with them! Of course I'm not gonna fucking touch them, 1 - my parents would spaz and 2 - THEY'RE NOT REAL!! I'm starting to get really nervous about this place, and I think it's getting to my dad. He's a writer, and a shit one at that, all he ever writes about these days is how he's having to work loads, but can't go out and play, and this makes him bored. I think this place has got ghosts or something in it. Then my dad really started freaking out and hit me! My mum knocked him out a locked him in a fridge.

Long story short my dad tried to kill us, I had to summon the pervy guy who introduced us, but what does he do? Gets axed by my dad...he was a total knobcheese anyway. There was somethign about some red rum, a river of blood and then I had to sneak away from my dad in some hedge maze...he was an abusive bastard anyway...he's probably dead.

I did a ouija-board seance later on (using a shotglass) to try and contact him, but if the music's playing it means they've run out of spirits, so that went nowhere.

Yours, D Torrance
(Fri 21st Apr 2006, 15:26, More)
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