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Another innocent terminated
There was this bloke where I once worked who opened my eyes to the depths of madness to which people can descend. I never knew how truly paranoid a person could be until encountering the wild fantasies of this individual. Everyone was plotting behind his back. He used to complain about music or even voices being too loud, about people joking and laughing (clearly at his expense) and demand meetings with co-workers and management to deal with his latest wild accusations. Oh, and people on other shifts were using his mug, plate and cutlery.

The feud over the plates was what did him in in the end. He targeted those he believed were the culprits, leaving them notes and sending emails (they worked opposite shifts and rarely met). At the Christmas party, he carried a plate over to their table and smashed it over his head, grinning maniacally at them, while in full view of the CEO et al.

Then one day he went to make a coffee in his mug, only to find it firmly glued to the cupboard. I guess it dawned on him as he stood trying in vain to lift his mug that everyone really was out to get him, really were laughing at him.

That day the workplace was in stitches. Everyone knew who the culprit was, but God love plausible deniability. So the culprit stayed, while the emails that the madman sent to the entire company accusing and threatening people who touched his property were used as a welcome excuse to solve that psychotic problem permanently.

To this day the mug remains as a silent tribute to him and crazy co-workers everywhere. Many have tried their hand at removing the cup, but all have failed. Legend has it that one day, some crazy King Arthur will walk in, casually reach for the mug and pull it free, thus crowning themself the new workplace psycho.


Apologies for length but not duration
(Sun 26th Feb 2006, 4:51, More)