Nom! nom! nom!

(Thu 26th Jun 2008, 10:28, More)

ha ha ha
i prefer

(Mon 31st Jan 2005, 15:52, More)

Cornwall showcase new emergency flood defences


[edit]right, that's it off off home to finish packing, i'm moving tomorrow so i'll see you big bunch of gays on monday morning, bright and early. bye, bye, only one day at work this week, i feel so relaxed.
(Wed 18th Aug 2004, 17:31, More)

Morning all, have you seen the papers today?

(Tue 16th Mar 2004, 9:34, More)

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

(Thu 12th Feb 2004, 10:50, More)

Clicky for biggerization.
(Tue 5th Aug 2003, 15:49, More)

snoods in films


edited for Dr Phil
(Tue 11th Feb 2003, 13:21, More)

save the panda

(Fri 31st Jan 2003, 13:44, More)

As the threat of striking loomed ever nearer
the government hired in some outside help


(Tue 22nd Oct 2002, 10:46, More)

The met as some new smart cars for the force in london


not sure about the new uniform though.
(Fri 30th Aug 2002, 14:45, More)

» My Wanking Disasters

an old school friend,
whos friendship i ended many yeas ago, who used to live down the street from me invited a few of us round at lunch time on occasion to watch his brothers porn collection, to which he on occasion would jack off to in front of us, then spilling his seed on the living room carpet and letting his dog in to lick up the offending mess.

needless to say i never let his dog lick my face ever again after i witnessed this.
(Wed 2nd Jun 2004, 14:54, More)

» Strange things you've been paid to do

i was once paid to take part in a scientific test
no biggy, my mate was doing it and i'd just started uni, so i could do with the money. it was to do with sleep deprevation, not bad, i'm used to sitting up until the early hours, so i though it would be money for old rope. My mate who got me involved slowy revealed details about it as the time got nearer.

1. it was taking place over 3 seperate 2 week periods, one in december, one in january and one in february, then we'd get paid at the end. not bad i thought, could have done with the money before christmas, but will survive.

2.as well as the spit samples we had to do every hour, we also had to do piss samples, fine i thought, i'm sure i could stretch to that.

3. we also needed to monitor our body temperature, fine i thought, until my mate told me that the mouth wasn't reliable enough to take a core body reading from. i asked him if i had to stick a thermometer up my arse every hour, to which her replied, "no, you'll be wearing a flexible probe, 24/7". the probe had a diameter of about 3mm, but made you feel like you had a shit half out of your arse.

needless to say, when february came we got our cheques (£450) and then spent the rest of the afternoon in the pub sinking pint after pint of cafferys with some other friends. we were very, very drunk by the time we left.
(Mon 4th Oct 2004, 10:29, More)

» Your first cigarette

the first time i smoked i was probably about 8 years old.
now i know that sounds young, but it was endorsed by my parents, my mum smoked silk cut and my dad smoked a pipe. Shocking case of child abuse? no stark warning of how horrible it is.

my dad caught me pretending to smoke his empty pipe, wanting to put me off he stoked the bad boy up and lit it handing it to me to puff on. i puffed like popeye and my dad said i was meant to inhale it. which i did.

i turned a pale shade of green.

then i had a coughing fit for the next 5 minutes and my parents fell about laughing.

it put me off smoking for quite a few years, i had a few puffs while i was at school, but didn't smoke until i went to uni that i started smoking proper. and that was only a sideline to smoking weed.

i'm now smoke free and have been for he last 2 years.
(Wed 19th Mar 2008, 19:39, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

Barcelona Stag Do
was informed by some chaps who live out there that Ballin 22 was the club that we were going to, which was located at 22 Ballin Street, so after shooting some arrows in the archery bar we scooted along, had a nice feel as you walked in, not a good as the dolls house in hamburg, but a nice club atmosphere, 15 euros to get in and your first drink free (and it needed to be as you wouldn't get much change from 10 euros for a beer).

the ladies dancing i must say were very nice, there were a series of small marquee's to one side of the club and the spanish speaking guys arranged for us all to sit in on a private dance but with all the attention on the groom (it was a stag weekend BTW). most enjoyable dance from a petite eastern european girl, then all back out to the main club to watch the free dances. it was at this point i was at the bar chatting with one of the spanish guys when some of the girls started to talk to us, it then twigged that this was a glorified knocking shop, and that i didn't want any knocking, some of the party however did and set about chatting to the ladies and buying them drinks before disappearing for a couple of hours.

after a while we got bored of the dancing ladies and high drinks prices and left to find a early moring bakery where you could get a tray of pastries for 2 euros. we were accosted by some black street hookers but managed to tell them to piss off as we weren't interested, we then bought some cans of beer from a street trader and some porn mags from one of the kiosks on las ramblas before heading back to our hotel.

those that went with the hookers in the club were lighter in the pocket to the tune of about 500 euros as they had gone back to a flat that was around the corner from the club.

i haven't paid for it but i have a few dirty secrets on others who have,
(Mon 23rd Jan 2006, 18:15, More)

» The Police

a friend of mine how is a police man
moved forces a few months back, luckly he'd just pasted his inspectors exams so he was chuffed, unfortunatly he has to do his stint in the custody block booking in and out those who walk the wrong side of the law.
he had a choice between the largest custody block in england or a smaller one a few miles away, being lazy he opted for the smaller one, which as luck would have it was where they take all the murderers and violent criminals, but enough about that, this particular evening he took delivery of a couple of ner' do wells that had been caught burglerising a house. booking them in and taking them to the cells was the easy part, but then they had a coded warning that a bomb was on site, so one by one the prisoners were handcuffed and led out into the courtyard until the all clear was given, then one by one back inside, the cuffs takne off and back in the cells.

when it came to the young ner' do well's, the key wouldn't fit and after some frantic searching it turned out that they were old cuffs that hadn't been used in 15 years and shouldn't have been on site, to which one of the burglers inquired what would happen now?

my friend turned to him and said that they would have to call the fire brigade and cut them off, which one of the ner' do well's got the wrong idea and though they would have their hands cut off, cue him starting to blubb and then proceed to be violently sick over his partner, who at the stench and the retcheing was also violently sick at his friend and the thought of having his hands cut off.

it was alright in the end they managed to find an old key and get them back in the cell, still smelling of vomit.

aparently the cell block smelt awful for days.
(Wed 28th Sep 2005, 10:50, More)