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Profile for Lord Foolius:
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bums

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» * PFFT *

On holiday in Greece,
I sat down to relax on the balcony one hot evening. After a week of vegetables huge steaks, my farts were TECTONIC, not to mention whiffy. I sat back with my headphones in, and in thinking nobody was around, I let rip the loudest, longest fart I had done in a good while. I was proud for a second and did a little giggle. My pride turned to shear shame and embarrassment at I turned round to see a couple of pensioners quietly reading, their faces had expressions which I couldn't describe. I promptly ran inside in my embarrassment. Those pensioners must have thought I'd shit myself or something.
(Fri 13th Jul 2007, 18:32, More)

» Gambling

Crossbar bonanza
Being completely uninterested and shit at football, I can barely kick a ball to where I want it.

For this reason, my brother said 'If you hit that crossbar with your left foot, I'll give you £100'

Might as well try, I thought.

Through some stroke of terrific luck, I claimed a direct hit on the crossbar, to my brothers horror.

I got my £100. Hehehe.
(Fri 8th May 2009, 14:31, More)