» Rock and Roll Stories

i was in a band once
we were named after a poison, i forget which. we played heavy metal. we disbanded (arf) after a couple of months, not because we were painfully bad, oh no, but because our bassist wasn't turning up for practice because of a "drug addiction". she wouldn't tell us what drug she was addicted to, but it turned out she'd got herself up the duff and would rather make up some rock 'n' roll excuse than admit the truth. we were 13.
(Tue 4th Jul 2006, 23:05, More)

» Barred

funnily enough
i was barred from my local branch of tescos on wednesday night. having spent a pleasurable night with a friend drunk and calling everyone in sight a cunt, we decided to go to tescos to satisfy our food cravings. the security guard must have been able to smell us or something because as soon as we got there he refused to let us in because we were too intoxicated. "i'm concerned that you will knock over the displays," said he. now, i'm normally the diplomatic anything-to-keep-the-peace kind of girl. but i was drunk so i replied "i'll knock you over in a minute if you don't let us in". possibly not the best thing to say to a 6ft tall black man who looked like he could knock me out with his little finger.

"get out of here, you're not coming here again" he bellowed. friend and i said fine, asda's better anyway. so off we went.

went to tescos this morning to get some breakfast before work, thinking that my shameful, drunken display had been forgotten. but alas, the security guard recognised me and just as he said, i wasn't allowed in.

i wish i could say i was barred from somewhere cool like china whites or funky bhudda, but no. i'm banned from a fucking supermarket.
(Sat 2nd Sep 2006, 3:55, More)