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» God
The Pope (bindun?)
Early one morning, the pope was having a nice shower, when he felt a certain tingle down there. Figuring that a little sin never did anyone any harm, he proceeds to have a quick wank. Just as he climaxes though, he here's a strange "click" noise. Quickly, he grabs a towel and exits the shower, and sees a paparazzo lens sticking through the bathroom window.
"You there!" He shouts. "You must give me that camera!"
"Are you kidding?" says the paparazzo. "I just got a photo of the pope wanking! I'm rich"
"But my child," says the pope, "You could bring down the Church if people knew! Think of the chaos, the heartache!"
"Sorry pal, this pic is worth millions to me."
The pope sighs. "Very well, if I give you ten million euros will you give me the camera?"
The paparazzo thinks on this for a moment and agrees. So the pope writes him a cheque, takes the camera and sends him on his way. Later, as he's sitting on his bed grumbling and trying to get the film out, a maid walks in.
"Oh, your Holiness," says the maid, "that's a very nice camera. How much did it cost you?"
"Ten million euros." grunts the pope.
"Ten million euros? TEN MILLION EUROS?" They must have seen you coming!"
(Thu 26th Mar 2009, 12:12, More)
The Pope (bindun?)
Early one morning, the pope was having a nice shower, when he felt a certain tingle down there. Figuring that a little sin never did anyone any harm, he proceeds to have a quick wank. Just as he climaxes though, he here's a strange "click" noise. Quickly, he grabs a towel and exits the shower, and sees a paparazzo lens sticking through the bathroom window.
"You there!" He shouts. "You must give me that camera!"
"Are you kidding?" says the paparazzo. "I just got a photo of the pope wanking! I'm rich"
"But my child," says the pope, "You could bring down the Church if people knew! Think of the chaos, the heartache!"
"Sorry pal, this pic is worth millions to me."
The pope sighs. "Very well, if I give you ten million euros will you give me the camera?"
The paparazzo thinks on this for a moment and agrees. So the pope writes him a cheque, takes the camera and sends him on his way. Later, as he's sitting on his bed grumbling and trying to get the film out, a maid walks in.
"Oh, your Holiness," says the maid, "that's a very nice camera. How much did it cost you?"
"Ten million euros." grunts the pope.
"Ten million euros? TEN MILLION EUROS?" They must have seen you coming!"
(Thu 26th Mar 2009, 12:12, More)
» Helicopter Parents
It's a shame my folks weren't hovering around me
and were, instead, hovering around the bar. At least they're not annoying me now.
Love,
Maddie x
(Thu 10th Sep 2009, 15:22, More)
It's a shame my folks weren't hovering around me
and were, instead, hovering around the bar. At least they're not annoying me now.
Love,
Maddie x
(Thu 10th Sep 2009, 15:22, More)
» Cringe!
Countdown
More to the point, MY Countdown appearance. I can't look at it now without cringing (which is a shame as it was always my ambition to appear on the show and I fulfilled it), the only real highlight was the fact that I got the word "Poofter" onto tea-time telly.
If I was a turtle, you wouldn't see my head. Ever.
(Wed 3rd Dec 2008, 17:12, More)
Countdown
More to the point, MY Countdown appearance. I can't look at it now without cringing (which is a shame as it was always my ambition to appear on the show and I fulfilled it), the only real highlight was the fact that I got the word "Poofter" onto tea-time telly.
If I was a turtle, you wouldn't see my head. Ever.
(Wed 3rd Dec 2008, 17:12, More)
» School Days
My time at school was quite eventful.
There was this one time this kid showed up, must have been from out of town as I didn't know who he was but he had a certain something...quite possibly the purple underwear. Anyway, he was a dreamboat and I was determined to find out who he was. I followed him home after school once and found him living with his uncle, a crazy looking, wild haired man who could have been a psychopath for all I know! Had a cute dog.
I asked him to ask me out to the school dance which is where things took a slight turn for the worse. I ended up copping off with his mate and decided to settle for him instead. Never saw purple pants boy after that but now, thirty years later, I have a young son who looks (and sounds) very much like him. Which is amazing as we didn't even shag!
Love,
Lorraine Baines McFly x
(Thu 5th Feb 2009, 11:45, More)
My time at school was quite eventful.
There was this one time this kid showed up, must have been from out of town as I didn't know who he was but he had a certain something...quite possibly the purple underwear. Anyway, he was a dreamboat and I was determined to find out who he was. I followed him home after school once and found him living with his uncle, a crazy looking, wild haired man who could have been a psychopath for all I know! Had a cute dog.
I asked him to ask me out to the school dance which is where things took a slight turn for the worse. I ended up copping off with his mate and decided to settle for him instead. Never saw purple pants boy after that but now, thirty years later, I have a young son who looks (and sounds) very much like him. Which is amazing as we didn't even shag!
Love,
Lorraine Baines McFly x
(Thu 5th Feb 2009, 11:45, More)