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Profile for LP:
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GET OFF MY LAWN!

Photoblog: paulseward.com

Recent front page messages:

Just a quickie

(Sat 24th Apr 2004, 18:35, More)

...

(Tue 25th Mar 2003, 18:37, More)

Eric wanted to know

"Where my bitches at?"

Wallpaper versions here
(Thu 13th Mar 2003, 19:02, More)



Clickety image for slight biggerness with added new window goodness
(Tue 4th Mar 2003, 13:32, More)

...

(Fri 28th Feb 2003, 13:16, More)

Erm...

I have no idea what posessed me
Edit: and on that note... goodnight
(Wed 26th Feb 2003, 0:43, More)

I've spent far too long on this

And my mouse is broken :-(

Or I'm just crap at tattyswop...
(Wed 12th Feb 2003, 23:37, More)

We will fight them on the beaches
Awww!  They all look like churchill at that age!
Ooh! Look! He's wearing a hat! He must be the next generation
(Fri 3rd Jan 2003, 12:15, More)

They're not all
The music made me do it
Fluffy you know...
(Tue 29th Oct 2002, 9:47, More)

Best answers to questions:

» My Worst Date

Back when I used to go out with girls...
I went out clubbing with this girl, and we were walking back to her flat.

About half way home I started to smell something nasty, and I asked her "have you stepped in something?" she said "no, can we just get home please?"

When we got home, she locked herself in the bathroom and turned the shower on. It turned out she'd shat herself.

I got my own back though, the following week I threw up all over her, in her bed.
(Sat 23rd Oct 2004, 18:02, More)

» Impromptu Games You Play

Supermarket Games:
I've got several of these, but here's two to start you off.

1 - "Secret shopper" the aim of the game is to get people you don't know to buy things they don't want.

You do this by following them around the supermarket and adding inapropriate items to their trolley. The winner is the first player whose target actually pays for the inapropriate item at the checkout. Bonus style points can be awarded for spectacular inapropriate items.

2 - "make em cry" the aim of the game is to find a parent who is carying their child over their shoulder, and stare at the kid until they cry. The winner is the player who achieves this, without getting caught, in the shortest time.

If you get caught, simply say "awww, they're so sweet at that age!" and smile.
(Tue 30th Mar 2004, 11:11, More)

» You're a moviestar baby

I've been on quite a few tv things...
I was in the audience for "Get Fresh" (and got both Gaz Tops and Guilbert the aliens autograph) and obscure 80's kids quiz "Knock your block off"

I used to work in an office that overlooked the entrance to Holby A&E (casualty) and was regularly seen wandering accross the back of shot carrying knackered computers because we weren't allowed to use filming as an excuse to stop working (bastards)

I've appeared on "Live TV" (marvelously tabloid UK cable TV channel) juggling bananas. I was in between "Britains bounciest weather with Rusty Goff" (a midget on a trampolene reading the weather) and "topless Darts" (does what it says on the tin)

But the moment I'm probably the most proud of, was when I appeared on "Dick and Dom in da Bungalow" wearing a furtive t-shirt, first thing on a saturday morning, the day after a b3ta bash. I was excrutiatingly hung over, yet still managed to avoid swearing. And the BBC paid for me to travel to london for the bash and put me up in a hotel! Result!

Edit: Oh yes, and I was one of the crowd of people who made up the letter "D" in the opening titles of "Good Morning Britain"
(Sat 13th Nov 2004, 1:18, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

When I was at uni...
there was this chap who for 3 years we all called "Dave". It was only at our graduation he decided to break the news to use that we'd been getting his name wrong for 3 years and that he was actually called James.

So I guess as far as nicknames go, "Dave" is a pretty crap one.
(Fri 19th May 2006, 16:58, More)

» Worst Record Ever

My worst record ever
is probably the bootleg mashup (*cough*) that I did of the vengaboys versus the outhere brothers.

Not only is it crap, but you can't get it out of your head for ages afterwards. (Mail me if you want an mp3 rob ;-)

Other than that, "Margerita time" by status quo, which is not only a complete pile of toss but was also the first record I ever bought.
(Wed 3rd Dec 2003, 17:48, More)
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