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Profile for jonbob:
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Best answers to questions:

» How nerdy are you?

Unlike Douglas Adams (RIP),
I actually do make jokes in base-13.

God I hate being single
(Thu 6th Mar 2008, 22:54, More)

» Body Horror

I've just come back from a minor eye op.
For a while I've had a lump in the corner of my eyelid the size of a pea. After the hassle with the Clockwork Orange lid clamps and some anaesthetic that didn't quite work they managed to excise it. If anyone wants to see what they didn't manage to scoop out with those dinky little curettage spoons and has since oozed out onto the dressing do, please, let me know.

I asked for a black dressing - looking like a pirate would be no small comfort - but, alas, the NHS did not oblige.
(Thu 11th Jul 2013, 16:17, More)

» Hidden talents

I can read Klingon.
I can barely understand two words, so I'm not completely beyond hope. Still, seeing the bf's face light up when he opened his birthday card does make being a (near) complete saddo worthwhile if you ask me.
(Sun 20th Apr 2014, 22:32, More)

» Sex Toys

One word:

Buy one.
Follow the instructions and be patient.
Oh yes.

They don't vibrate or anything (not by themselves, anyway) but good God will you enjoy it.
(Fri 18th May 2012, 22:13, More)

» One Night Stands

I have some simple pieces of advice:
1. If a fellow queer says they "just happened to have some nappies left by a relative", they're lying. Whatever floats your boat mate, but the idea of buggery with a baby is not my cup of tea.

2. Never go anywhere without cab fare home, lest you end up lost and stranded in one of the stranger parts of Gateshead still drunk and due at work an hour later.

3. Be suspicious of good blow jobs; keep a lookout for a glass by the bedside with false teeth in it.
(Thu 13th Mar 2014, 20:29, More)
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