» When I met the parents

Mum's cleavage.
I went out with a girl with rather large bazookers. 32GG they were - so large in fact she wanted to get breast REDUCTION surgery. Of course I talked her out of that repeatedly. So the time came about to meet her parents. I found out what side of the family she inherited them from. Definitely her Mother.

I couldn't help it. My girlfriend's mother was wearing a low cut top and when speaking to her my eyes... they just wandered down repeatedly. When my eyes were on my meal I would take little glances up towards it. Her cleavage had captured me in some sort of trance.

I don't know if I was caught in the act.

I wasn't invited back.
(Wed 25th May 2005, 20:36, More)

» The most cash I've ever carried

Mullah
Just under three million dong in notes.

Or about £300.
(Thu 22nd Jun 2006, 12:41, More)

» Stupid Tourists

And...
My gran on a bus in Calais:

"They've even got an ASDA."
(Sun 10th Jul 2005, 18:14, More)

» Stupid Tourists

Chinese man approached me in Camden Town...
"Where can I find the Kirkus?" he enquired.

I didn't have a clue what he meant.

Minutes later I realised he had wanted the circus.

I wouldn't mind but there wasn't a circus within twenty miles.
(Sun 10th Jul 2005, 18:09, More)

» Useless Information

Number of legs.
I have more than the average number of legs.
(Sun 20th Mar 2005, 9:51, More)