» Ripped Off

I feel ripped off
Neither apethingy or frankthingy have posted anythiny yet


I just wasted my b3ta virginity, didn't I?
(Thu 15th Feb 2007, 21:44, More)

» Well, that taught 'em

another childhood one
my little bro and I fought over e v e r y t h i n g - pencils, seats, who got the bigger half [we were more idiot than savant]
But as he got bigger, I had to replace combat with cunning...

After he'd done something particularly infuriating - can't remember what - while he was sleeping, I painted his fingernails in bright pink nailvarnish :D
In the usual rush to get to school in the morning, nothing was noticed, and just he's about to get out of the car and join his 10 year old pals I remarked on his pretty hands. Cue wailing, gnashing and desperate eating of nailvarnish.

Ma gave me a right old hiding, but I got my revenge on her 3 years later when I gave little bro his first joint at the tender age of 13 (to stop him telling on me!)
12 years later he's still a big fan of dope and we get along much better!



Length? Guys, the older I get the more important it becomes
(Sat 28th Apr 2007, 16:33, More)

» Why I was late

Just remembered this
Ended up on a massive bender one Thirsty Thursday, drinking till 9am and all that jazz.
Too bladdered to call in sick or make any sort of lame excuse, I simply turned off my phone and went to bed.

On Monday morning was called into the boss and given a bit of an eating, to which I calmly replied 'I'd booked the day off months ago'

'But there is no record of it in the online time sheet Parker Larkin!' proclaims the boss triumphantly (the cnut)

Dammit, says I, I keep forgetting to save those when I enter new data.

They weren't happy, but what could they do?SWEET FUCK ALL THAT'S WHAT!
HOORAY FOR ME!
(Fri 29th Jun 2007, 18:29, More)

» Guilty Secrets

ass yo do
when ever I read a post with 'as you do' in it, I stop reading immediately.


If it's funny enough it'll be in the newsletter.


It never is.
(Thu 6th Sep 2007, 0:44, More)