» Bastard Colleagues

Does it still count if you saw the guy for less than an hour?
Picture the scene, if you can:
A young BTBB turns up at a shiny building on an industrial estate- Vectura Labs, if anyone knows it.
He presses the button to be let in, and tells the people he's here to work for an agency. A couple of minutes later, a lovely man named Andy comes, and explains they were meant to be having a girl, not BTBB. 'Should I try and grow breasts and a vagina?' quips BTBB; 'oh, no' titters Andy.
BTBB is given a guided tour, given his own shiny safety goggles and lab coat, and told to report for work, after being told 'you'll be here for a week, for definite'.
during the day, BTBB is as happy as a turd in shite, pushin his little trolley round, collecting things to wash, putting things back, washing things. He even gets complimented that he's picked things up very well! BTBB is One Happy Boy.
Andy comes to see him off at the end of the day, shakes his hand, smiles, tells BTBB how well he's done, etc, etc ,etc.

Next day, BTBB doesn't feel too well; 'I don't think I can go in' he says to his father. 'nonsense' says his father 'you'll be fine, lad', and off they drive.

BTBB is hardly there for half an hour before hes hauled out of the middle of a VERY BUSY LAB, a squaky clean flask still in his hands, to be told he's no longer required, and will be paid for the day.
Teary-eyed, BTBB makes his way forlornly out of the lab, waving bye-bye to everyone, and barely makes it into the car park before he bursts into tears.

On the way home, he calls the agency, who tell him 'oh, yes, we were told yesterday morning you wouldn't be needed for the rest of the week. Apparently your work wasn't very good, and you made far too many mistakes'.

BTBB was not happy, as you can imagine. He'd been lied to more than once, on this, his very first job.

The End.

No apologies for length- this is my first proper in-depth reply to one of these.

P.s.: Click 'I like this' if you were moved by this tale of heartbreak, sorrow, and betrayal.

P.P.S: If, say, ten people click 'I like this', i'll tell the story of Bryce the Scheiss from my other job.
(Mon 28th Jan 2008, 3:17, More)

» Bastard Colleagues

Bryce the Scheiss
Okay, so he wasn't really a scheiss, being French and not German, but merde doesn't rhyme..

Anyway, we once again find a young BTBB doing agency work, this time for a company making catering trollies for schools and hospitals. BTBB is told this work is for a month, and it seems like a bit of a doss.

All he has to do is test these things for bugs. That involves pressing a few buttons on a menu, and looking for flickering- that takes a grand total of about a minute, every quarter of an hour or so. Bearing in mind these things take at least 45mins per cycle, that doesn't leave BTBB with much to do for a day that lasts between around half eight and four every day.

So he decides to entertain himself; doodling in a pad, reading a book, generally making himself look busy whilst he isn't; and the two guys who are his immediate bosses- M and S- are fine with it. They chat to him, ask him what he's reading ask him to draw doodles for him, so on and so forth, and everything is great and fine.

Except for Bryce.

Bryce is the section boss, sent over from the French parent company, and..in a way, he's a nice guy. Doesn't seem too bad at first, if a little quiet and businesslike.

Anyway, one day, BTBB turns up for work, and M, who gives BTBB his trollies to test, isn't there. So BTBB pulls out the manual to read, and takes a little break; which involves standing up and wandering around idly.

And in comes Bryce, flashes a glance at BTBB, and asks him while he sn't working. A conversation(with a little of 'I can't work if I don't have anything to do' 'you work if we pay you to work' thrown in for good measure) ensues, and it ensues Mr French guy isn't happy with BTBB, who's done nothing wrong.

Later that day, M and B are in the office next to where BTBB is working, and there's raised voices- and BTBB hears his voice mentioned.

The next day, BTBB turns up, works for an hour or so, and is then told his contract will be terminated that day- after only a week of work.

----
Technically, this is probably just sour grapes on my part, but it still seems so petty. I wasn't doing anything wrong, and yet they still decided to get rid of me.

I won't apologise for length; the trollies were only about three, maybe four feet long.

And I'm not gonna ask people to click 'I like this' or anything.
Nuh-uh.
no way.
No way, Jose.
No sirree ma'am.
(Mon 28th Jan 2008, 14:03, More)

» Hotel Splendido

Well, here's my story (or two)
1). Picture the scene, if you can. I'm six years old, and most definitely looking forward to my first proper holiday with my parents, down in Devon (Torquay, I think, but I could be wrong). Anyway, we turn up, and the hotel's lovely. all the mod cons, nice beds, good food, etc- of course, to my very little self, it could have been Heaven. Except for the third night there, where I woke up all itchy. Try as I might, I just couldn't sleep again- and so I woke up my mum. Who turned on the light, took one look at me, and swore.

I'd only gone and got chickenpox. spent the rest of the week slathered in Calomine lotion, looking like I was covered in cream, or serm, or something.

2). This one's short and sweet. Hotel in the French Alps. Wallpaper that was about five inches out from the wall. Beds that had you rolling to one side or the other, or swallowed you up like some kind of carniverous marshmallow. A bathroom that had no window- which isn't too bad, except the light switch was on the outside; cue mates 'hilariously' turning the light off at odd intervals. A toilet that kept breaking- either wouldn't flush, or it kept on flushing and didn't stop.


And those are my stories. Nothing compared to most of the stories on here, but hey, just thought you'd want to read 'em anyway.
(Wed 23rd Jan 2008, 0:38, More)

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

This was custom-made for yours pervily
I've not posted in donkeys, so I doubt anybody knows me- or even cares if they do.

Now, I have a problem; being the devastatingly funking gorgeous one-metal-leg-ed fella I am, I receive the attentions of a multitude of girls.
My last few relationships have all featured girls between..two and four years younger than myself, and all have either turned out to be, in addition to young and gorgeous; busty, short, psychotic, already taken, freaking nymphomaniacs or, in one particularly unforgettable case, all of the above.

And i'll explain more, when I'm not so knackered.

Ciao,
BTBB
(Sat 6th Dec 2008, 3:33, More)

» Pet Stories

Bubbles the cat, and Patches the guinea pig.
Are just two of the many pets I've had,and will tell you about.

This won't be long,but what the hell.

Anyway, Bubbles is a gorgeous tabby- although he does have a large head. He's a wonderful fella,bless him,although he is prone to bouts of complete and utter stupidity.

One such tale goes thusly: 'Twas a dark and stormy Sunday, and the folks and I were settling down with a mug of cocoa to watch that lovely John Craven on Countryfile. We're sipping away, watching with wonder at the green and pleasantness on our television,when we're suddenly made aware of a movement in the corner of the room. We look over to see Bubbles,very proudly sitting on top of a gurt big blackbird. A blackbird which was very much alive,and intent on making a bid for freedom- however, it just ended up flapping 'round the front room, screeching like a harpy.

My second story concerns one of my ex-guinea pigs- a lovely little guy called Pathces, so called because of the multi-coloured patches of fur. Anyway, it was the day I'd brought him home,and he was extremely twitchy and skittish. He was settled in the crook of my arm- although only just. Anyway, I was sat in the conservatory with him,and I took my hand away to scratch my nose.Big mistake. With no warning at all,the furry devil leapt out of my arms,ran helter-skelter across the floor,and ran behind the boiler. Took us three sodding hours to get him out.

Please be gentle- it's my first post.
(Thu 14th Jun 2007, 0:34, More)