Profile for Raff the indelible:
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- a member for 2 years, 5 months and 5 days
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You Are 60% Weird |
 You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks! |
Your EQ is 140 |
 You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. You are warm, Sexy and open. Even when life gets you down, you're unafraid of the world and its challenges. You are comfortable with who you are. And you accept your weaknesses - as well as the weaknesses of others. While you are quite stable, you don't respond perfectly to every bad situation that comes up. But you have enough emotional intelligence to know when you need a course correction. |
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» Bastard Colleagues
Tyson
Having worked as a chef for years i've met so many drug addicts, losers and people who have a chronic fear of washing, to be honest i nearly cried sometimes at the state of chefs the agencies sent me. (and no it wasn't the onions)
One lad we had as a commis chef we called tyson, mainly because he cried a lot, he looked like a dirty dwarf and no matter how many times you made him wash there was always a thin layer of mud on him.
Tyson was a man who would grass you up to the manager for anything, some of you may know there are times in kitchens when theres fuck all to do and so you have to make your own entertainment such as throwing knives, deep fat frying the weekly rota or locking the kitchen porter in the deep freezer, (ah happy days)
but every time tyson was on shift he would weasel off to the owner and say that we were not working or other such snideities. Tyson was also the laziest shit this side of the equator and frequently called in sick and let us down.
A plan was hatched......
We got the master keys for his locker and placed a pigs head in it staring out and drew pentagrams inside, after that the head chef borrowed the restaurant amp,speakers and microphone and we hid them under the kitchen sides and put one in the pastry bin,
finally we altered tysons rota so he was working a late on his own.
The good thing about this particular kitchen was that its two floors under ground and a very lonely place when you are by yourself.
When tyson started work that evening we had the whole brigade of chefs hidden round the kitchen some in the pastry room and laundry pile some in the potwash (big kitchen) and as we got one of the chefs "jaws" as he was affectionately known to make very quiet mewing and crying noises into the microphone, we could see tyson's expression going from puzzled to worried and he was getting more edgy, looking around and checking to see where the noises came from, as the evening progressed jaws started to whisper jumbled words very quietly into the amp, tyson at this point had - had enough and packed the kitchen up early forgetting to clean properly (as usual) and went in to the side room to change.
All hell broke lose as he opened his locker, he screamed and ran full pelt to the main stairs of the restaurant, he slipped as he was running
cracking his head on one of the metal prep tables and was out cold, we quickly disposed of the pigs head and cleaned the pentagram off and managed to raise tyson who was a gibbering wreck, we stated we were up in the bar when we heard the scream and tyson fell hook line and sinker, strangely enough and to no-ones regret tyson handed in his notice the next day and got a job in maccy D,s from what i remember.
(Thu 24th Jan 2008, 12:26, More)
Tyson
Having worked as a chef for years i've met so many drug addicts, losers and people who have a chronic fear of washing, to be honest i nearly cried sometimes at the state of chefs the agencies sent me. (and no it wasn't the onions)
One lad we had as a commis chef we called tyson, mainly because he cried a lot, he looked like a dirty dwarf and no matter how many times you made him wash there was always a thin layer of mud on him.
Tyson was a man who would grass you up to the manager for anything, some of you may know there are times in kitchens when theres fuck all to do and so you have to make your own entertainment such as throwing knives, deep fat frying the weekly rota or locking the kitchen porter in the deep freezer, (ah happy days)
but every time tyson was on shift he would weasel off to the owner and say that we were not working or other such snideities. Tyson was also the laziest shit this side of the equator and frequently called in sick and let us down.
A plan was hatched......
We got the master keys for his locker and placed a pigs head in it staring out and drew pentagrams inside, after that the head chef borrowed the restaurant amp,speakers and microphone and we hid them under the kitchen sides and put one in the pastry bin,
finally we altered tysons rota so he was working a late on his own.
The good thing about this particular kitchen was that its two floors under ground and a very lonely place when you are by yourself.
When tyson started work that evening we had the whole brigade of chefs hidden round the kitchen some in the pastry room and laundry pile some in the potwash (big kitchen) and as we got one of the chefs "jaws" as he was affectionately known to make very quiet mewing and crying noises into the microphone, we could see tyson's expression going from puzzled to worried and he was getting more edgy, looking around and checking to see where the noises came from, as the evening progressed jaws started to whisper jumbled words very quietly into the amp, tyson at this point had - had enough and packed the kitchen up early forgetting to clean properly (as usual) and went in to the side room to change.
All hell broke lose as he opened his locker, he screamed and ran full pelt to the main stairs of the restaurant, he slipped as he was running
cracking his head on one of the metal prep tables and was out cold, we quickly disposed of the pigs head and cleaned the pentagram off and managed to raise tyson who was a gibbering wreck, we stated we were up in the bar when we heard the scream and tyson fell hook line and sinker, strangely enough and to no-ones regret tyson handed in his notice the next day and got a job in maccy D,s from what i remember.
(Thu 24th Jan 2008, 12:26, More)
» Personal Ads
Where do i start
Many stories to be had, since breaking up from the last psycho rehab using, cheating ex G/f
i have used various free dating sites for sex meets, one thing i have found no matter how young and sexy they are all of them are milfs or miwltf s , except for the really minging ones who havnt had the chance to spawn, i am supposed to be going up to see a lady who is on the larger side tonight who has harassed me by text and email for ages to date her (i know beware of the deperate ones) but her two saving graces are that she likes to drink and has a all red dwarf episodes on tape and is an addict of it (yes) i mainly use the sights for sex meets because i have given up on ever meeting the one. I,m also
meeting a 43 year old fairly fit lady who has been sending me pictures of her in various states of undress and a penchant for nob licking..
Click i like this if you think i should go ...
(Fri 14th Sep 2007, 15:00, More)
Where do i start
Many stories to be had, since breaking up from the last psycho rehab using, cheating ex G/f
i have used various free dating sites for sex meets, one thing i have found no matter how young and sexy they are all of them are milfs or miwltf s , except for the really minging ones who havnt had the chance to spawn, i am supposed to be going up to see a lady who is on the larger side tonight who has harassed me by text and email for ages to date her (i know beware of the deperate ones) but her two saving graces are that she likes to drink and has a all red dwarf episodes on tape and is an addict of it (yes) i mainly use the sights for sex meets because i have given up on ever meeting the one. I,m also
meeting a 43 year old fairly fit lady who has been sending me pictures of her in various states of undress and a penchant for nob licking..
Click i like this if you think i should go ...
(Fri 14th Sep 2007, 15:00, More)
» Bastard Colleagues
Special Dan
The windowlicker of our workplace.
I work in a business that teaches IT and Sales, we hired a 16 year old office monkey called dan who is the thickest guy i have ever met in my life, he's not retarded or anything but has the lowest IQ of any person,animal or glass of water i have ever met.
Some of the Nuggets.
.Stopping him answering the phones as he could not pronounce the company name, (it's four letters long)
.Thinking Glaswegian was a country
.Stopping him making coffee as he always forgets to put coffee in
.eating three course meals on the reception desk and talking to customers with his mouth full
.Not being able to sort the filing cabinet alphabetically
He's a lovely chap but he makes jade goody look like Albert Eistein.
Length? Till the end of the month mate.
.
(Thu 24th Jan 2008, 10:38, More)
Special Dan
The windowlicker of our workplace.
I work in a business that teaches IT and Sales, we hired a 16 year old office monkey called dan who is the thickest guy i have ever met in my life, he's not retarded or anything but has the lowest IQ of any person,animal or glass of water i have ever met.
Some of the Nuggets.
.Stopping him answering the phones as he could not pronounce the company name, (it's four letters long)
.Thinking Glaswegian was a country
.Stopping him making coffee as he always forgets to put coffee in
.eating three course meals on the reception desk and talking to customers with his mouth full
.Not being able to sort the filing cabinet alphabetically
He's a lovely chap but he makes jade goody look like Albert Eistein.
Length? Till the end of the month mate.
.
(Thu 24th Jan 2008, 10:38, More)
» Voyeurism
The Dark Room
Back when i was with the harpy ex - bitch Girlfriend, we used to break up and get back together faster than a hyperactive person on speed (making up sex was always good.)
The Lady decided that to put spice back into our love life we should go to swinging partys which involved going to a big mansion somewhere paying between 20 and 80 squid for the pleasure and sit around with people who looked like judges and their wives in skimpy clothing.
One room they had was the Dark room where you got jiggy with your lady on a big matress where other people were getting jiggy and then try and swap with them and me usually ending up with some biffer that i was too drunk to fight off.
One time i managed to get a rather lovely blond lady around 20ish and we were going at it hammer and tongs until i realise there is a small torch light on us, so i look to the doorway and there is a bloody great camera filming us "errr" i say prodding the lovely angel on top "oh no worries" says she "thats just my boyfriend filming something for us to have fun with later." I not really liking the thought of some bloke fwapping over me on film
jump up and the girl who was on me falls into a pile of bodies getting funky, i grab the camera race to the toilet and flush water over it, the boyfriend getting irate with me gets one of the gorillaz (scarred and very big) providing security to throw me and my girlfriend out into the street with my clothes thrown out of the windows at me, so i get the car started and lob a brick through the window and peg it.
We broke up shortly after .
No appologies for length but she was gorgeous.
(Fri 12th Oct 2007, 14:16, More)
The Dark Room
Back when i was with the harpy ex - bitch Girlfriend, we used to break up and get back together faster than a hyperactive person on speed (making up sex was always good.)
The Lady decided that to put spice back into our love life we should go to swinging partys which involved going to a big mansion somewhere paying between 20 and 80 squid for the pleasure and sit around with people who looked like judges and their wives in skimpy clothing.
One room they had was the Dark room where you got jiggy with your lady on a big matress where other people were getting jiggy and then try and swap with them and me usually ending up with some biffer that i was too drunk to fight off.
One time i managed to get a rather lovely blond lady around 20ish and we were going at it hammer and tongs until i realise there is a small torch light on us, so i look to the doorway and there is a bloody great camera filming us "errr" i say prodding the lovely angel on top "oh no worries" says she "thats just my boyfriend filming something for us to have fun with later." I not really liking the thought of some bloke fwapping over me on film
jump up and the girl who was on me falls into a pile of bodies getting funky, i grab the camera race to the toilet and flush water over it, the boyfriend getting irate with me gets one of the gorillaz (scarred and very big) providing security to throw me and my girlfriend out into the street with my clothes thrown out of the windows at me, so i get the car started and lob a brick through the window and peg it.
We broke up shortly after .
No appologies for length but she was gorgeous.
(Fri 12th Oct 2007, 14:16, More)