» Siblings

My bro.....
...is in the army and quite a nice guy most of the time. Except for one thing-he's a ginger bastard! No really, he is! Looks a bit like mum but nothing like dad. We had a bit of a rough time growing up as mum died in a car accident, but he seems to have developed his own way of dealing with it. He's never happier than when the psycopathic little inbred is blowing stuff up in Afghanistan, or when he's at home dressing up as an SS commander to go out partying!



Fortunately I got the family ears.
(Sun 4th Jan 2009, 10:23, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

Maths teacher
So we had this maths teacher when I was 13 - Lovely bloke by the name of Stan, about 6 months from retirement. Of course being a class of 13 year olds we were all little shits.

Stan tells us one day that OFSTED would be doing an inspection of our next lesson with him and could we all try to co-operate. Of course.

He always walks in, sits behind his desk and opens the draws before doing anything else. Every lesson. Here is our target spot.


The next lesson, the entire class lines up outside about 10 minutes early, Stan walks up with inspector, cue much "Good morning Sir" from everyone (NEVER happened before in our school) and Stan thinks he's on to a winner.

We all walk in and sit down quietly, Stan goes to his desk as normal and opens the draw to find:

3 copies of Mayfair (open at the centrepage)
Box of rubbers (not the school kind)
Vibrator
Gimp mask and leather gloves.


Cue much quick shutting of draw and flustering of said teacher, who then taught the entire lesson from memory without drawing anything on the board as he was too scared to get chalk out in case the inspector saw the contents of his desk!



Happy days.......


Length? I usually have to apologise for girth first...
(Wed 25th Jul 2007, 14:41, More)