» Public Transport Trauma

The Tube
I was stood on the platform at Waterloo waiting to get onto the train for Bank. Place was packed and everyone was doing the same shuffling forward and waiting to board. As I was going to work I was in no rush to cram myself in to a stinky carriage, so I got to the doors and made to wait for the next train.

It was then that I was elbowed aside by a power dressed business woman in trainers. She tutted and lept onboard to take her place in the miniscle gap by the doors, she looked out smugly upon me. Superior in her powerful business woman commutes regularly way.
The doors shut on her head.

I laughed so loudly, people turned to stare and frown. Apart from the one woman on the platform I shared a wicked smile with.
Made my day.
(Thu 29th May 2008, 17:13, More)

» The Credit Crunch

Bargain Bikes
Not me, but my son. My Dad phoned to inform me that he had purchased a bike for my son. Thought he'd check with me to see if I was alright with that, after all your son's first bike is an emotional milestone. As I'm not proud and would prefer to be practical in the face of mounting costs, kids are expensive! I was fine with my Dad buying it.

It was a bargain, bought in Woolworths down from 50 quid to under ten pounds.

My only real problem is that my son, at the time, was only 8 weeks old. My Dad bought a bike about 2 years in advance because it was a bargain. Guess you can take the man out of Yorkshire but not the Yorkshire out of the man.
(Tue 27th Jan 2009, 11:37, More)

» Stuff I've found

Just porn?
I once found a penis extension!

Walking to school one day, this strange "thing" attracted my attention. It was a fleshy coloured two inch block of dense foam. Only after turning it about in my hand I realised it had a sculpted helmet.

It was disgusting, so I did want any school child would do. I threw it at a friend.
(Thu 6th Nov 2008, 17:28, More)

» Hotel Splendido

Hotel de Vie
I stayed at a Hotel in Farnham whilst attending the wedding of one of my wife's friend. The place was called Hotel de Vie, we managed to get a discount on the best room in the hotel because my wife knows the owner.

Wedding was lovely by the way with a free bar and cheesy disco, you couldn't drag me away from either…

The hotel's décor is probably best described as burlesque. With arty pictures of ladies wearing very little.
And our room. The French room.
Lovely big bed in the room and erotic literature in the bedside cabinets, I didn't even have to search for grot a it was on display. A bath that had 2 showers and could hold 4 people comfortably or even 2 people thrashing about with vigour in the morning and a eye bolt hooked into the ceiling.
For the sex swing in the wardrobe.

Best hotel ever.
Not strictly in keeping with the QotW I know but any excuse to reminisce taken.
(Wed 23rd Jan 2008, 10:28, More)

» Why should you be fired from your job?

Besides surfing?
I worked for a company for 5 and a half years. Under no supervision and not really giving a toss I started slacking. I did no work, I came in, surfed the net, tried to beat my high score on Tetris and then went home. I worked about 3 hours each week. During this time I got a pay-rise and a bonus almost unheard of within the company.

I left. Not because I was asked to but because they weren't paying me enough! For doing no work. Even now I'm amazed at my own brass balls for holding the company to ransom over my salary. I got another job and true to form I did no work there either. Only difference was a lack of web access. So I wrote a novel instead. Whilst pretending to write emails, I produced an 82 thousand word novel.

When that contract ended after 10 months, my old company recruited me and I came back with 50% increase in salary. A year later, I'm still here. Still doing no work. The only thing that has changed is that I visit different web-sites. Next performance review I'm tempted to ask for a pay-rise.
(Thu 9th Aug 2007, 14:55, More)