Biggerer

Click here if you're fabulous.
(Fri 13th Apr 2007, 13:44, More)

Clicky for lully biggerer version

14 clicks here gets me in the top 100 webcomics!
(Mon 5th Mar 2007, 14:00, More)

Clicky for lully biggerer version

Archive - Trouble Down Pit badges ! (...and other stuff like corsets and Matazone T-shirts)
(Mon 4th Dec 2006, 11:30, More)

When gravity attacks

o


Play my games!.
(Tue 28th Mar 2006, 17:20, More)

BUUUUGGGGGEEEEERRRRR!

Edit:Woo! First frontpage in ages! Cheers! My animations site.
(Wed 7th Jan 2004, 11:12, More)

Dressed in black and waving dafodils

Bloomin' Morrissey fans.

Clicky for bigger
(Wed 15th Jan 2003, 9:57, More)

Aww! Isn't it cute?

It's a celephant.
(Mon 6th Jan 2003, 9:16, More)

» Stuff You've Overheard

I was getting changed for swimming and two kids in the cubicle next to me were talking about the end of the world...
1: Did you know the sun's going to explode?

2: No.... When's that going to happen?

1: Oh, ages yet. About two or three hundred year's time.

2: Wow.... What're we going to do then?

1: Dunno. They'll probably make another one.

Fantastic.
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 12:35, More)

» Workplace Boredom

The Bohemian Rhapsody Index.
When I was working early shifts on a Sunday in an off-license, it would often a long wait between customers. When all else was done in the shop, I finally resorted to the Bohemian Rhapsody Index. This is the number of times that you can sing the complete lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody between working. Sundays would commonly have a BRI of around 3. I did have one day that had a BRI of 5.
(Thu 8th Jan 2009, 13:14, More)

» Breakin' The Law

A bit of the opposite way around, this story
I was working in an off-license about five years ago and a couple of drunks come into my shop. One of them had taken a swipe at my head with a bottle of wine, I'd taken the bottle of him and told him to piss off, which he promptly did.

The police turn up, have a look around the area to see if they can spot the guys then come in to take my statement. About half an hour later we're sitting out the back of the shop going through it all and the bell dings for the front door of the shop. My boss wanders out to serve the customer and it's the mate of the guy who tried to attack me. My boss steps out the back and with a grin on his face says to the policeman "The friend of the guy who did the attack is in the shop asking if he left a bag behind. The attacker is standing out the front waiting for him."

Pause.

"What?" says the very baffled policeman.

"They're back and they are asking if they left a bag behind!" The grin on my bosses face is now rather huge. The policeman has a great expression on his face, quietly says "right" and tries to keep a straight face as he puts on his hat to go and arrest the very, very stupid people.

It gets better though. On attempting to arrest the guy who attacked me, the mate then decides it would be a good idea to jump on the back of the policeman. Now, what this was supposed to achieve is pretty ambiguous anyway, but he really should have factored in that the police were setting up a speed trap across the road at the time so in about five seconds he was manually lifted and thrown to the floor by seven officers.

A few minutes later the policeman walks into the shop to tell us everything is fine and they've been arrested. He was utterly amazed at just how dumb the two really were.

I did well out of it too, I got £50 compensation for the guy who attacked me, my boss shut the shop early and gave me a £15 bottle of wine. We then went off and got royally drunk on everything in my house.

That the night was one of the most enjoyable I've had in this city says a lot about Winchester.
(Thu 8th Jan 2004, 14:02, More)

» Local Nutters

In Winchester we have the original Foul Ol' Ron from the Terry Pratchett books
In some ways Ron is a celebrity tramp. His voice sounds like a saw blade being tortured. It rings through the streets and people turn to eachother and say 'I can hear him but I can't see him'.

Around the corner they find him pushing a puchchair with a plastic bag on it. The bag has second hand clothes in it that he gives to women in pubs. He gave a bra once to an ex-girlfriend of mine. She was very scared because it was the right size. There's more going on in that head than meets the eye.

He doesn't smell, which singles him out, and while he does creep people out sometimes he does actually know when to leave people alone.

He goes to the same pub almost every night but never buys a drink. There are rumours that the staff are not allowed to serve him, but I've never seen him ask either. You can tell when he has come into the pub because there is a huge belch and the saw-blade voice declaring 'Never fear, Ron is here'.

He sits by the fire and smokes cheap cigars. Occasionally he wanders around the pub telling people that it's 'Nearly Christmas!', usually this happens in July. He also likes telling people what he's going to have for his supper, which is often kippers and boiled potatoes.

Sometimes you'll find him dozing on the high street, where sleep has overcome him and so he's resting in the child's pushchair.

He used to be a boxer, and he has the looks for it. He retired about two years ago after having spent the previous 32 years unemployed and unemployable. He seems rather proud of this.

For all his strange habits, he's really rather lovable after a while. Walking out of the train station one day after a long journey I heard his voice echoing on the wind and I knew that I was home.
(Thu 16th Sep 2004, 12:38, More)

» Useless Information

If you turn a swan upside-down in water it can't right itself.
It makes you wonder how people find these things out.
(Sun 20th Mar 2005, 17:34, More)