» Things we do to fit in

Not sure if anyones posted this yet....
What people do to fit in on b3ta:

People endlessly reposting their stories, made even worse when they weren't funny first time and are even less funny second time.

People stealing stories from other places then trying to pass them off as their own.

And people trying to come up with amusing jokes for QOTW that are actually crap.....

With regards to 'fitting in', i'll be suprised if no one has said "Used lube" or something like that yet (or then again come up with another pointless joke/story that is supposed to be 'amusing' (cba to go look back through answers...)


Apologies for semi-ranting.


But I wont apologise for length
(Thu 15th Jan 2009, 15:59, More)

» I'm your biggest Fan

:)
I'm my biggest fan......


No seriously... I am :)
(Thu 16th Apr 2009, 23:14, More)

» Spoilt Brats

Not strictly in line with this weeks QOTW but still.. read on.
Ok, so this isn't as much about 'spoilt' brats as just 'brats' in general.

Every bus journey you can guarantee there will be at least one group of girls, usually around the ages of 12-16 who think its absolutely hi-fucking-larious to play whatever festering turd of a song is ruling the chavtastic songworld at that moment in time. If they're not playing shitty music then they are having a conversation to see who's mouth can produce the most crap in 60 second spurts.
A typical conversation would go thus:

Chavette #1: Lyk ohmygodwhatthefuckyousaying
Chavette #2: no 'e wud-unt 'eez gunna get fukin battad
Chavette #3: fuk off u dont no nuffink.

And so on and so forth all expelled in exceptionally loud voices so that the rest of the bus can hear all about their pathetic excuses for lives.


Next.

The male chavs, you know the ones. They stand outside the shops in groups and proceed to ask every stranger that walks past "go in t'shop for us mate". When the stranger politely declines their request they suddenly show their true side "what a wanka, fuk off yer fukin twat, i'm guna cut ya wiv me flicky innit". Well fuck me sideways with the torch of gondor... thats where i've been going wrong all my life, your supposed to be rude and uncouth when you want someone to do something for you. Christ on a twunting bike... Their stupidity astounds me. Fuck Asbo's.... bring in mandatory steralisation for all chavs.

There are so many more 'brats' i'd like to unleash a foul mouthed diatribe about but i'll end this here.
(Wed 15th Oct 2008, 20:32, More)

» Nativity Plays

hmmm
It is Thursday isn't it?
(Thu 2nd Apr 2009, 18:34, More)

» Pathological Liars

This lesbian at school
When I was at school there was a girl who lied about everything. She was an attention seeking little bitch. Every week she'd come into school with a new injury. Broken collar bone, Sprained ankle, Fractured wrist etc.. all of which healed remarkably quickly as she was bandage/castless a few days later.This backfired on her in later life, as all the trips to the doctors and all the lies to the school nurse and everything meant that the RAF wouldn't accept her because she was too injury prone. She was seriously deranged... she'd drink lynx (as in the deoderant) just to say she could... she'd act like a 5 year old... its no wonder everyone hated her. I wont hold the fact she was a lesbian against her cos she did have a rather hot gf who later turned out to be straight. Bumped into her a few days ago. Shaved head with a streak of purple hair... looking a complete fuckwit... and still telling the lies that her mum has won the lottery.... yep that explains why she lives in a council flat eh?


Length? My mate lost his virginity to her when she was still in her 'bi phase'... maybe it was lack of length that turned her?
(Wed 5th Dec 2007, 15:39, More)