» Accidental innuendo

God is a perv...
I was bored today, so I looked through my parent's library. In a section of -religious- books, I stumbled upon a particularly intriguing one. While I'm not religious or anything of the sort, my parents are, so I'm not surprised they didn't see the sexual innuendo when they bought this book. Well, unless it was my mom, in which case, she was probably disappointed when she read it.



Whilst browsing through the book I noticed this, and giggled to myself.



And because it's b3ta =)



Ahem. Excuse my lack of goatse-making abilities.
(Sun 15th Jun 2008, 18:38, More)

» Sexual fetishes

Oh the shame.
My best friend told me she was at her fiancé's house, when to her horror, he walked into the bathroom without closing the door and took a leak in front of her.

I, however, do not get disgusted seeing my fiancé's urine. He frequently enjoys pissing on me in the shower.

=3
(Thu 22nd Oct 2009, 16:18, More)

» Guilty Pleasures, part 2

-sizzle-
I like to set things aflame and put them out with water just to hear them sizzle, mainly with important letters or bills to my parents o_O

I also say/do the weirdest things in public, just for random people's reactions.
(Fri 14th Mar 2008, 22:45, More)

» I witnessed a crime

Moo-m?
This is about my Mom and her (I almost spelled "his"...eh she kinda looks like a dude) doings. There are a quite a few.

My mom has been known to grow, sell, buy, and smoke weed. She smokes with minors and buys from them too. Oh how cool she looks.

She also likes to drink and drive, sometimes when I'm in the passenger seat, taking a swig when I'm looking the other way.

Another thing she likes to do is get drunk, get in the car (again with me in the passenger seat) speed to about 80mph on a 50 limit zone, then swerve about crazily in hopes to get into an accident and kill me.
(Mon 18th Feb 2008, 1:19, More)

» Your first cigarette

My very first cigarette was when I was in the womb. . .
. . .not really...at least I don't think so? Ah well.

Anyways, the very first time was when I was nine, or was it eleven...I can't remember properly...anyways, my sister took a walk up my street in the middle of the night and I followed her, because I was bored. She said I could come as long as I didn't tell anyone. Then she pulled out a cigarette, and lit it up. My thoughts were something like "Elise is SMOKING? She's so cool" (yes...I was very lame). Then I asked if I could try and she said sure.

Lets just say I didn't smoke again until I was about 14ish, trying to impress my ugly, lame ex boyfriend-thing (he was hardly a boyfriend really)...and I got addicted, but quit after a year, thanks to my current boyfriend =)

And I haven't touched a cigarette since. woo!

Sorry for the lame-ness, I'm horrid at writing.
(Mon 24th Mar 2008, 23:18, More)