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Profile for prince-igor:
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Someone once told me I was the most pointless individual they'd ever met.

I have a suspicion they were right.

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Best answers to questions:

» Tightwads

How we defeated the tightwad
Blah blah, office of four, every friday pub for drinks, one sod never bought his round.

So far so dull. We did, however, manage to defeat the problem by inventing the fax machine sweepstake.

Our office fax machine was frequently spammed with air conditioning/car/computer/other sales faxes, so we instituted a sweepstake with one category each, and the person who received the most faxes having to buy the first round on friday.

It took him over 3 months to realise we were sending faxes expressing interest to air conditioning companies.
(Fri 24th Oct 2008, 15:15, More)

» Training courses, seminars and conferences

Warlols.
Ran a seminar with a fantastic bunch of people engaged in scientific research, and they were discussing international teamwork.

Swiss lady: "Your team works really well doesn't it, even though it's a mix of Italians and Germans?"

Italian chap: "I'm not sure it's always a good thing when Italians and Germans work well together"

I had to laugh out loud... Possibly unprofessionally.
(Thu 15th Mar 2012, 15:09, More)

» Devastating Put-Downs

Slighty repost, but it was only a reply to a link...
In a debate on capital punishment between two lawyers:

Lawyer 1: Revelling in a man's death isn't very Christian
Lawyer 2: Beg to differ; it's a central plank of the whole thing.

Best comeback ever. Argument won.
(Fri 25th Nov 2011, 9:06, More)

» Bad Management

I had one of those shouty managers once...
...you know - you're 10 minutes late, and she shouts at you in front of the whole open plan office.

I decided I wasn't actually that fussed about keeping the job, and started responding whenever it happened by shouting HER failings back.

Her: "YOU'RE 10 MINUTES LATE"
Me: "FAIR POINT. YOU'RE COMPLETELY INNUMERATE, SO I HAVE TO DO YOUR MANAGEMENT REPORTS FOR YOU"

Strangely, I wasn't fired, and we actually started to get on okay.
(Fri 11th Jun 2010, 15:09, More)

» My First Experience of the Internet

Not mine, and not my first...
...but it's a good story, so sod you.

Art director I worked with needed a specific type of New York street scene for an ad he was creating, and decided he'd try looking outside commercial image libraries.

He suddenly started saying "oh... no... oh god no... make it stop... cannot unsee..." etc etc. And then a short pause before he announced "never do an image search for steaming manholes"
(Fri 23rd Mar 2012, 10:42, More)
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