» Impulse buys

drunk footie manager
I once bought Teddy Sherringham for £10,000,000 on Championship manager when I was drunk. He was 38.

ok its not real money but i was not best pleased in the morning.
(Fri 22nd May 2009, 16:06, More)

» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis

Ah the wonders of larger!
After being in a hot club until 2am me and the chums walk/stagger down to the local kebab shop to fill up on grease and chilli sauce.
Now dont ask me why but at that moment I deemed it right as to flop my nob out and rub it along the length of the glass counter in the shop infront of all onlookers. The people who work there were quite nice about it and asked if I thought it was a woman.
What made this worse was as it was fresh from the above hot nightclub, the build up of sweat and wee on the end of it left a nice streek a meter and a half along this glass case and being a typical kebab shop, was not cleaned very often. This streak was there for at least a month after and is still refered to often :( !!!! Still sodding funny tbh

Also in B3TA's defence I have liked the recent QOTW and I know this excludes most women but if it was "Whats the strangest thing you have done with your vagina", the site would be brought down by wankers wanting the next band camp story! Stick to willys I say.
(Thu 12th Mar 2009, 12:40, More)

» Gyms

Join the BNP in a Sauna!!!
So there we were, me and my mate a regular at our local gym and all was well. Not to crowded and started to get on with the locals in there. One guy we got on with was huge and bald but thought nothing of it really. The guy talked to us about bodybuilding and was a friendly face in the crowd...

So anyway me and friend have workout and hit the sauna and in walks the bald guy. We all get talking and all is well until the now imortal line was said....

"So im now off work because I tried to set fire to another Indian"

Silence.....

This man then begins to tell us about the indian guys he has tried to beat up and kill and then tells us how someone tried to set him up with a friend of theirs, they met and the girl was Indian. Apprantly he informed her he was a member of a "little organisation" called the BNP and he can not see her again or things would have to happen.

We were thinking of how to make polite excuses and get the hell away from this guy before he tries to recruit us to the cause when someone walks in. Great we both think, now he will shut up....

we were wrong...

Turns out its another mate of his who then go onto tell us about the best place to start fights with asian guys and the pubs to goto...

We got the flip out of there quick as we liked and changed our gym times to match.

Maybe those guys just needed more Japanese porn? dunno but it wasnt fun.
(Thu 9th Jul 2009, 15:54, More)

» Teenage Crushes - Part Two

Penny...
Inspector Gadget's neicee.

I was about 5 but these things are etched in my mind still.
(Wed 11th Nov 2009, 12:19, More)

» I don't understand the attraction

Jacket Potatoes
LIKE WTF Jacket Potatoes!!!!

You get a bland, tasteless experience and when you question it the people say "Oh well its ok if you put a truck load of beans, cheese and other crap over it it tastes great".!!!!

Now if i were to eat a lump of shit and said "its ok I covered it in champagne and chocolate sause so it tastes great" youd complain but that is pretty much what people are doing with them.

"Yes your 80 year old Grandmother's vagina smells of piss and shit but if i eat 4009 polos first its not so bad giving her oral, infact its quite minty".......

I love Veg and Potatoes but never seen the point in eating something so bloody boring just because "it tastes good with things on".
(Fri 16th Oct 2009, 15:34, More)