Profile for Stu in the hat:
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- a member for 1 year, 1 month and 2 days
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- has posted 2 messages on the talk board
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- has posted 8 stories and 15 replies on question of the week
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» Turning into your parents
It's inevitable that I shall turn into my dad
He used to say constantly that I look just like he did at his age and I will be like him in 30 years. Naturally I used to regard this as bollocks that dads usually say to piss off their kids, until I found a photo of him at my age. I'm the spit, down to the long stupid hair and scrawny build.
And he looks just like his dad but 30 years younger as well. When we are in the same room together it's like some kind of timewarp family reunion. But at least I can look at them and see what's going to happen in the future.
Thankfully I'll still have my hair, but also a gut and no teeth. Fuck
(Fri 1st May 2009, 22:19, More)
It's inevitable that I shall turn into my dad
He used to say constantly that I look just like he did at his age and I will be like him in 30 years. Naturally I used to regard this as bollocks that dads usually say to piss off their kids, until I found a photo of him at my age. I'm the spit, down to the long stupid hair and scrawny build.
And he looks just like his dad but 30 years younger as well. When we are in the same room together it's like some kind of timewarp family reunion. But at least I can look at them and see what's going to happen in the future.
Thankfully I'll still have my hair, but also a gut and no teeth. Fuck
(Fri 1st May 2009, 22:19, More)
» Things we do to fit in
Someone at school lied about shagging his gf to impress everyone
This went on for well over a year. Classic cases involved him coming in looking smug and saying about how he got laid, making up stories where they did it and so forth.
They broke up, and once on msn he told me how worried he was that his now-ex was coming over and he wouldn't be able to control himself, even though she was now with his mate. Bout an hour passed and he logged in again telling me about how it happened on the desk and he was really guilty.
The stories of the sex got out to his ex, who then continued to inform everyone that they had never slept together and he was still a virgin. His reputation plummeted and was then seen as a lying freak with severe issues.
Waste of time in all really, as nobody else in our group had had sex so if anything, it didn't make him fit in but made him look more of a sexpest and a smug gimp before the truth got out anyway.
Found him on Facebook lately, I'm tempted to tell his now-girlfriend about it and see if he's still doing that lie
(Sun 18th Jan 2009, 16:50, More)
Someone at school lied about shagging his gf to impress everyone
This went on for well over a year. Classic cases involved him coming in looking smug and saying about how he got laid, making up stories where they did it and so forth.
They broke up, and once on msn he told me how worried he was that his now-ex was coming over and he wouldn't be able to control himself, even though she was now with his mate. Bout an hour passed and he logged in again telling me about how it happened on the desk and he was really guilty.
The stories of the sex got out to his ex, who then continued to inform everyone that they had never slept together and he was still a virgin. His reputation plummeted and was then seen as a lying freak with severe issues.
Waste of time in all really, as nobody else in our group had had sex so if anything, it didn't make him fit in but made him look more of a sexpest and a smug gimp before the truth got out anyway.
Found him on Facebook lately, I'm tempted to tell his now-girlfriend about it and see if he's still doing that lie
(Sun 18th Jan 2009, 16:50, More)
» Siblings
As I have a knack of bringing poo into every conversation
I remember a couple of years ago, probably about 6 or 7 in fact, my memory is shit. Me, my sister and my 2 stepbrothers were round my dad's, and their mum's, house and we were confronted with the question "Who did the big shit in the toilet that won't flush?"
Me: Not me
Sis: Wasn't me
Big Stepbro: Nor me
Lil Stepbro: (starts bawling) It wasn't me honest (then runs out the room crying)
No prizes for guessing who the culprit was. We then named it "Nick's Big Log" after him.
Apparently my dad had to get rid of it by chopping it up with a fork into flushable chunks.
(Mon 29th Dec 2008, 0:35, More)
As I have a knack of bringing poo into every conversation
I remember a couple of years ago, probably about 6 or 7 in fact, my memory is shit. Me, my sister and my 2 stepbrothers were round my dad's, and their mum's, house and we were confronted with the question "Who did the big shit in the toilet that won't flush?"
Me: Not me
Sis: Wasn't me
Big Stepbro: Nor me
Lil Stepbro: (starts bawling) It wasn't me honest (then runs out the room crying)
No prizes for guessing who the culprit was. We then named it "Nick's Big Log" after him.
Apparently my dad had to get rid of it by chopping it up with a fork into flushable chunks.
(Mon 29th Dec 2008, 0:35, More)
» Things we do to fit in
First smoked weed to impress a girl
And it worked, got her into bed later on cus she was there to witness my gateway to manhood.
Bit of a depressing story now I think about it. Especially when she turned out to be a total fucking loon, and my mate failed to tell me that when he set us up. Then again I should have realised when all it took to get her in the sack was a toke on a spliff in my friend's dingy piss-smelling room.
(Mon 19th Jan 2009, 2:40, More)
First smoked weed to impress a girl
And it worked, got her into bed later on cus she was there to witness my gateway to manhood.
Bit of a depressing story now I think about it. Especially when she turned out to be a total fucking loon, and my mate failed to tell me that when he set us up. Then again I should have realised when all it took to get her in the sack was a toke on a spliff in my friend's dingy piss-smelling room.
(Mon 19th Jan 2009, 2:40, More)
» Banks
I'm with HSBC
And I find them pretty good. I've not had any issues wih overdrafts or charges from spending too much moneys as I've tried my utmost to only spend the money I have (or was given by the LEA), so my stories involving banks would be lacking in the random charges department.
But yes, my old branch was good. The people were helpful and friendly. Same with my second branch. Then HSBC decided to move out of this mansion of a bank building into some glass pod down the road with no tellers, but dozens of cashing in/out machines, PCs and phones. It makes it a real pain in the arse if you lose your card as you need to phone upstairs using their machines (My mate was told to stand in the corner while they sorted out some cash to take out of his account without a card)
However, being a grumpy bastard, it's good to know that you can do all your cash handling tasks, such as paying in or out and checking statements, without having to talk to a single person.
Natwest on the other hand are a bunch of tits, as they don't seem to want to transfer my ISA from Egg so they get their grubby mitts on my cash. It's not that they can't, they just haven't.
(Mon 20th Jul 2009, 1:10, More)
I'm with HSBC
And I find them pretty good. I've not had any issues wih overdrafts or charges from spending too much moneys as I've tried my utmost to only spend the money I have (or was given by the LEA), so my stories involving banks would be lacking in the random charges department.
But yes, my old branch was good. The people were helpful and friendly. Same with my second branch. Then HSBC decided to move out of this mansion of a bank building into some glass pod down the road with no tellers, but dozens of cashing in/out machines, PCs and phones. It makes it a real pain in the arse if you lose your card as you need to phone upstairs using their machines (My mate was told to stand in the corner while they sorted out some cash to take out of his account without a card)
However, being a grumpy bastard, it's good to know that you can do all your cash handling tasks, such as paying in or out and checking statements, without having to talk to a single person.
Natwest on the other hand are a bunch of tits, as they don't seem to want to transfer my ISA from Egg so they get their grubby mitts on my cash. It's not that they can't, they just haven't.
(Mon 20th Jul 2009, 1:10, More)