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» School Trips
A break in Wales
First year of secondary school, we all got a week in an outdoor centre in Govilon in Wales.
The usual twaddle - more girls than boys, so the boys got the smaller girls' dormitory with a tampon disposal machine which was filled with toilet paper and set on fire.
At one point a load of us had to push a minibus that had stalled. Apparently I was the only one who tried, and it rolled forward, pinned my arm between the bus and a stone wall and broke it (my arm - the wall was fine).
Despite having a PE teacher and a biology teacher present, both watching whilst the head dinner lady ('Evil Edna' - lovely lady) cut up my beans on toast for me right in front of them on their table, they insisted it was a sprain and I didn't need an X-ray.
One girl who threw up got sent straight home. I got dragged around in an overcrowded mini-bus, down mines and off swimming with a broken arm. Even a former-miner turned tour guide took me aside and told me I should tell my Mum and Dad to get it X-rayed when I got home.
Once I did get home I had to have my arm broken and re-set (and I opted for local anaesthetic, rather than stay overnight in the hospital). My Dad and a nurse had to hold me down as it hurt like hell.
A few of my mates filled the PE teacher's waterproof sleeping back with ice and water, which was a nice touch. He had already made them sleep in the corridor. I had taken some stick for having a Sooty hand puppet in my sleeping bag, but hell they were good guys.
Someone recently suggested our old PE teacher could come on our annual boxing day canoeing expedition. Yeah, I'm all for that...
(Thu 7th Dec 2006, 13:01, More)
A break in Wales
First year of secondary school, we all got a week in an outdoor centre in Govilon in Wales.
The usual twaddle - more girls than boys, so the boys got the smaller girls' dormitory with a tampon disposal machine which was filled with toilet paper and set on fire.
At one point a load of us had to push a minibus that had stalled. Apparently I was the only one who tried, and it rolled forward, pinned my arm between the bus and a stone wall and broke it (my arm - the wall was fine).
Despite having a PE teacher and a biology teacher present, both watching whilst the head dinner lady ('Evil Edna' - lovely lady) cut up my beans on toast for me right in front of them on their table, they insisted it was a sprain and I didn't need an X-ray.
One girl who threw up got sent straight home. I got dragged around in an overcrowded mini-bus, down mines and off swimming with a broken arm. Even a former-miner turned tour guide took me aside and told me I should tell my Mum and Dad to get it X-rayed when I got home.
Once I did get home I had to have my arm broken and re-set (and I opted for local anaesthetic, rather than stay overnight in the hospital). My Dad and a nurse had to hold me down as it hurt like hell.
A few of my mates filled the PE teacher's waterproof sleeping back with ice and water, which was a nice touch. He had already made them sleep in the corridor. I had taken some stick for having a Sooty hand puppet in my sleeping bag, but hell they were good guys.
Someone recently suggested our old PE teacher could come on our annual boxing day canoeing expedition. Yeah, I'm all for that...
(Thu 7th Dec 2006, 13:01, More)
» Best Films Ever
DERR-dumm
Spielberg may not have made the scariest horror, and may not even have intended it to play out the way it did, but the perfect casting and editing make a film that can get you over and over again; no matter how many times you see it, the laughs, the tension and the fear are there, same place, every time, even when you know what's out there; know it's coming; know it won't give up; know he's smart, Chief; he's very smart or he's very dumb; he's gone under the boat. He's a big smart fish, he's gone under the boat.
A film that whether you know it well or not, it's in your subconscious, making you afraid to look down, or making you so scared not to be looking down scrutinising every tiny shadow every second you're swimming over deep water. And a soundtrack that can just sidle up and take a big bite out of your rationality whenever it feels like it.
Now that's a film.
(Tue 22nd Jul 2008, 23:03, More)
DERR-dumm
Spielberg may not have made the scariest horror, and may not even have intended it to play out the way it did, but the perfect casting and editing make a film that can get you over and over again; no matter how many times you see it, the laughs, the tension and the fear are there, same place, every time, even when you know what's out there; know it's coming; know it won't give up; know he's smart, Chief; he's very smart or he's very dumb; he's gone under the boat. He's a big smart fish, he's gone under the boat.
A film that whether you know it well or not, it's in your subconscious, making you afraid to look down, or making you so scared not to be looking down scrutinising every tiny shadow every second you're swimming over deep water. And a soundtrack that can just sidle up and take a big bite out of your rationality whenever it feels like it.
Now that's a film.
(Tue 22nd Jul 2008, 23:03, More)
» Best Films Ever
wall e
Amazing. Just amazing. The most endearing character Pixar have ever done. He may lift a lot of his design from Johnny-5 and E.T., but you still just want to take him home.
And he's happy all by himself for 700 years, then he falls in love and saves the world. A film so inspiring it actually makes you want to tidy up a bit. What other film has done that?
(Tue 22nd Jul 2008, 22:46, More)
wall e
Amazing. Just amazing. The most endearing character Pixar have ever done. He may lift a lot of his design from Johnny-5 and E.T., but you still just want to take him home.
And he's happy all by himself for 700 years, then he falls in love and saves the world. A film so inspiring it actually makes you want to tidy up a bit. What other film has done that?
(Tue 22nd Jul 2008, 22:46, More)
» Hotel Splendido
Honesty is the Best Policy
For my brother's stag do, we stayed in a B&B / hotel in the Kensington area of London. I won't name it, but it's not just somewhere at random - it does have its own little mark on the map in the pocket A-Z guide and we booked in advance.
It looked a bit shoddy inside. Then we were handed the keys to the rooms. Each had a big brass plate attached, with the room number scrawled on a piece of paper and stuck on one end with sellotape wrapped round and round. A friend of my brother got a basement-level room. The piece of paper taped around the end of his key fob had the room number on one side and the words 'SHiT HolE' on the other. And this was the key he'd just been handed by the manager.
It turns out that the room was actually a bit of a shit hole, so we decided he didn't really have grounds for complaint.
(Sun 20th Jan 2008, 0:39, More)
Honesty is the Best Policy
For my brother's stag do, we stayed in a B&B / hotel in the Kensington area of London. I won't name it, but it's not just somewhere at random - it does have its own little mark on the map in the pocket A-Z guide and we booked in advance.
It looked a bit shoddy inside. Then we were handed the keys to the rooms. Each had a big brass plate attached, with the room number scrawled on a piece of paper and stuck on one end with sellotape wrapped round and round. A friend of my brother got a basement-level room. The piece of paper taped around the end of his key fob had the room number on one side and the words 'SHiT HolE' on the other. And this was the key he'd just been handed by the manager.
It turns out that the room was actually a bit of a shit hole, so we decided he didn't really have grounds for complaint.
(Sun 20th Jan 2008, 0:39, More)