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Deaf Old Men...
...wait until the coldest day of the year (when Tesco's only has one of it's doors open rather than the whole shopfront), to bump into one of your old friends and start a conversation in the doorway - not only that, do it with your trolley positioned directly over said doorway, so that no other fucker can get in or out of the store. Because you're a bit deaf, when someone politely says 'excuse me' a couple of times, do be sure to completely fucking ignore them. Then, when you receive mardy looks and whispered insults for being a complete idiot and causing a logjam, don't forget to miraculously recover your hearing ability, and make dumbass remarks about 'the youth of today'.
(Sat 7th Feb 2009, 16:37, More)