Clowns scare me


Edit: Just realised! First fp! Thank you!
(Wed 16th Jul 2003, 22:08, More)

» Airport Stories

Irish Customs
I flew from Luton to Galway for a conference last year. Didn't see much of Galway airport on the way in because it was dark and I just wanted to get to the hotel. I can honestly say though that if I did go through customs in order to get there I sure didn't notice.

Fast forward to the trip home. Galway airport is basically a building slightly larger than a portacabin. They have a bar, a check-in desk and a departure lounge and that's it. Before the departure lounge I was subjected to the most rigourous customs check I've ever experienced (no, not quite to the removal of clothes level but almost) which seemed to take ages as they emptied my bag, pockets, scanned my laptop, hand-checked my person, etc. The plane was a bit delayed so I went into the departure lounge and proceeded to the toilet. The toilet was actually rather nice and it had a nice big window through which I could see the taxi rank on the street outside.

Maybe it's just the way my mind works, but if I ever need to smuggle anything out of Ireland...
(Fri 3rd Mar 2006, 14:10, More)

» Obscure Memorabilia

.
I own a small piece of concrete from the Tricorn Centre, Portsmouth - the currently-being-demolished "ugliest building in Britain". It's on my window sill next to my piece of Cork and Kerry Mountain.
(Thu 4th Nov 2004, 13:47, More)

» Child Labour

When I were a lad
back in the dim and distant early 1990s, three friends of mine said they were going to work in a farmer's field picking strawberries for his shop and getting paid £3 an hour cash in hand for it (at the time, when we were all 15, this was a small fortune) Sounded like too much hard work to a spoiled little brat like me, so I passed.

Next thing I knew, they had been paid £3 an hour between them not each, as they had previously believed. One of their dads went to have a word with the farmer, who insisted that he'd never seen any of them before in his life, kids were always trying to rob his farm or con money out of him in some way, and that if they didn't all get off his land immediately he'd call the police.

I felt smug, but have not trusted farmers ever since.
(Fri 17th Feb 2006, 15:58, More)

» Have you ever started a fire?

At school (and college)
we were pyromaniacs. One science lesson saw a mate of mine throw an ethanol-soaked paper towel through a bunsen flame at another mate. He dodged it and it landed on the floor behind a table. The flame could be seen over the table as it hit the floor. My favourite though was at the pub during lunch break at college. Someone 'borrowed' a bunch of those wooden splint things from their science lesson. We made a tower out of them by weaving them together (which took bloody ages) and put it on the table as an ornament. Then someone set fire to it, producing a two-foot-high wall of flame on the table of the pub which had to be put out a bit damn quick before the landlord saw it.

Of course nothing beats another story featuring the same friend with the paper towel. After he had - er - borrowed a few tins of paint from a warehouse one night, he had to escape over a railway line. He tripped, sparks flew and the paint cans exploded in his arms. He suffered third degree burns to about 20% of his body, and had to have skin grafted from his bum in order to rebuild his face. Last time I saw him he was fine, but since then we've always insisted that our statement about him talking out of his arse is completely true.
(Wed 3rd Mar 2004, 11:53, More)

» Urban Legends

Portsmouth's Spinnaker Tower
can rotate 180 degrees to face the other way.

I wouldn't be surprised if it were true. Mind you, after spending a year of my life in Portsmouth, not much surprises me any more.
(Fri 6th Jan 2006, 17:37, More)