» Scars with history

I was hungover one morning
and decided to tell my parents about a friend of mine who had told us down the pub that he'd shaved off his pubes, to which my Mum replied
"Ooh that really itches that does"
That left a pretty fucking big scar I can tell you
(Fri 4th Feb 2005, 12:52, More)

» Too much information

All about the Mothers
I was hungover one morning and decided to tell my parents about a friend of mine who had told us down the pub that he'd shaved off his pubes, to which my Mum replied
"Ooh that really itches that does"
Huuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppp
(Thu 6th Sep 2007, 16:44, More)

» Stalked

Okay, this question I can answer.
Sorry, this isn't a humourous post (for me anyway). I had a stalker.

It lasted 2 years. I started working at a ne job playing with websites, and there was a very friendly, normal normal seeming woman I was 22, she was 30. After a few weeks of working in this office it was mid-summer, having a park nearby, it made sense to have lunch on the grass, take your shoes of, etc. This woman had the same idea and we ended up sitting together and eating our sandwiches, talking about not much, I didn't really have a lot to relate to with a woman 8 years my senior and who liked Enrique Ingleasias.

One day I was off because I had a tooth pulled. I was sitting at (my parents) home, feeling like shit when I get phone call from her asking why I didn't tell her I was coming in that day, she was angry, I had no answer. I was stunned and confused as to what she thought was going on between us, I hardly knew anything about her.

This could be a lot longer so I'll cut to the chase. upto 50 text messages a day, over 1000 emails in 3 months, phone calls to my house, my parents house, quit my job, saw her outside my new work, tried to run over my girlfriend, death threats, suicide threats, threats of violence towards me and my family, she turned up at my local but luckily I wasn't there. She turned up when I was at Reading festival claiming she loved metal music and always had, meh. She turned up to gigs she thought I'd be at, posted me letters to work my parents and me.

2 years.

I ended up attempting suicide. Being told you are to blame for being stalked and that it's your fault someone has had a shit life for 2 years straight, looking over your shoulder everyday, wondering when you or your family are gonna be maimed, kinda gets to you.

/edit: If she finds this I'm dead
(Sat 2nd Feb 2008, 20:18, More)

» I witnessed a crime

Crime witnessed me, not quite inline with the qotw but kinda
I had been out walking on the beach, enjoying the sun, walking hand in hand with my gf, wonderful start to the day, we stopped at a restaurant for some beasty club sandwiches and a pint. The weather was scorching, and, after a lunchtime drink, we decided we'd go and sleep off the previous late night with a early afternoon nap.

Well naps start off innocent enough and you can probably guess what happened, anyway, after an hour or so napping and fooling about, we were both quite awake and went for a shower (This story does have a point I promise), I was finished before my lovely lady and I went to sit in the kitchen window and watch the world go by.

I noticed after a few minutes that there seemed to be some sort of commotion outside, there were people pointing at my flat and I saw a flash of a police uniform, I lent out of the window and saw 2 cops talking into their walkie talkies and staring right at me, not good me thinks.

I shout upstairs "I think someone has called the police on us, I'm going down stairs"

I approach the policeman and say "Is there a problem here?" Cue me getting shoved against the wall, and "you better start telling us what's been going on" he says.

I invite the cops upstairs and 4 more turn up, turns out some crazy lady in the cafe near my flat had told the police I'd been pointing a gun at her!! The armed response unit turned up and the police grilled me for about an hour saying "if you hadn't invited us up we'd have kicked the door in carrying our rifles." If I hadn't spotted them outside I could've been shot! This is what they said to me. Fuck.

The woman who made the allegation was seen walking swiftly away from the cafe when the cops weren't looking with a smile on her face. WTF?!

The police ended up confiscating a BB gun I had in the bottom of my wardrobe, in a shoebox, under a pile of old rubbish. They asked if I had anything that resembled a firearm so I went and got that out. They knew I'd done nothing wrong but insisted on lecturing me anyway.

I guess they were doing their job but these fellas were not mucking around, they refused to listen to a word I said, rolled their eyes when I said I was anti-gun, told me that the CCTV I requested wasn't required as there was a witness, spoke to their superiors saying I was playing Hi-jinks, generally treated me like shit and told me how much serious trouble I was in even though there was no weapon.

I'm not the hardest of people and you could say I'm kinda sensitive, this did not help. I'd done nothing wrong yet felt like shit. This all ended with them realizing there was nothing going on, I didn't even get a ref no. because there was no write up on it, they apologized and shaking my hand, no further trouble for me. "Go enjoy the rest of your weekend mate" they said, yeah right.

I don't hate the police but I wonder what drove a women to report a complete stranger for something they'd not done??

weekend ruined - confidence shattered. Sorry for length.

p.s Then my radiator fell off my wall and flooded my bedroom. Pissflaps.
(Fri 15th Feb 2008, 12:26, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

ok bad photo I know but hey....

Need I say more?
(Tue 8th May 2007, 11:45, More)