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» Sorry

Dear woman
I'm not saying it still keeps you awake at night, or that it haunts your days. But every now and then you must think about it and ask yourself 'who did that? why? and where did it come from?'

I can answer those questions.

It was us, two 13 year old boys. We did it because we found it fun to go into Gloucester city centre on a saturday and see what mischief we could get up to. And buying jacket potatoes covered in sloppy, slimy chilli and cheese in order to throw them off the top of the NCP car park was certainly mischief.

It wasn't personal, and I want you to know we'd never actually managed to hit anyone before. And I feel a bit bad that when the soggy brown mess hit you squarely in the back and slid down your light grey raincoat and you looked round to see no-one behind you it resembled something from a psychological horror movie.

Please accept my apology, and know this: we were so ashamed that we hardly let off any stink bombs in the Boots lifts for the rest of the day, and could barely bring ourselves to steal shitloads of batteries from Poundstretcher.
(Sat 19th Jan 2013, 12:14, More)