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[challenge entry] With apologies to Bristol Uni

From the Bad Books for Kids challenge. See all 457 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:02, archived)
# Type 1 aka Maltesers
:)
(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:03, archived)
# Today, I laid a type 3.
Maybe I need more fruit in my diet.

any questions?
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:04, archived)
# You are dehydrated.
That's not really a question, but anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:05, archived)
# Really?
So the more water you drink the moister the poop you'll make?

interesting
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:08, archived)
# Nah
The more fibre you eat, the firmer they get.
(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)
# So wait, If I eat a lot of fruit
my poop will veer towards the type 1's?
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:10, archived)
# I think this calls for
An Experiment!
(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:11, archived)
# you need more b3ta.
nothing keeps you as regular and firm as b3ta.
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)
# sometimes I can manage about 3 different types in one go!
hmmm.... must remember to invent that playdough accessory for the sphincter that makes it come out in different shapes
(I helped save b3ta! Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:04, archived)
# They could fit over the toilet seat in a big grid
So you'd just have to prop yourself over the hole of the shape you want to make.

Once people get over the mess, you might be onto a winner
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:06, archived)
# You want piping bag nozzles
They'll do it.

I'd have thought.
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:06, archived)
# it's been done
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)
# *googles*
*realises that not really the sort of thing to google at work*

*gets the sack*

*lives on streets giving out bj's to tramps*

*finds treasure map*

*realises map is a hoax*

*dies*




*gets resurrected*

*wealthy dowager pities me and nurses me back to health*

*gets old job back*
(I helped save b3ta! Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:12, archived)
# ah
the circle of life
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:13, archived)
# a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way
a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way
(I helped save b3ta! Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:15, archived)
# *sobs*
i love a happy ending!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:14, archived)
# someone has already made them
(I helped save b3ta! mugatu, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:08, archived)
# Most days I start with a 3
and move through a 6 into a 7
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:12, archived)
# You forgot
the horrible, tarry, yellow/black godawful-smelling mess they do for pooh #1

*gags at the memory*
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:05, archived)
# Yay for having a baby in special care,
The nurses did it for us!
(I helped save b3ta! Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:06, archived)
# Yay and awwwww!
You didn't miss out =o]
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:06, archived)
# hopefully will get the chore for number 2!
5 weeks and counting
(I helped save b3ta! Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:08, archived)
# *gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees*
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)
# number 2 number 2?
I must say after #1 I had no problem changing ANY nappy... apart from one where she'd obviously had a dodgy gut and it leaked... and I mean *leaked*... everywhere... while visiting a friend in hospital... with no spare clothes. Ever seen a 10-month old in an adult-size surgery cloak?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:10, archived)
# my son was sat on my lap
when he done his first poo

i thought he'd exploded!


he had a nappy on
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)
# Haha
Gross
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)
# it was
he wasn't bothered though
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:13, archived)
# I have never had fluffy poo.
Apart from that time once when I ate Bungle.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:05, archived)
# office lol
(I helped save b3ta! mugatu, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)
# really?
I have them most days...um


/too much information blog
(I helped save b3ta! Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)
# Eat more curry
For 6 and 7
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)
# haha 2 words..
BUNGLES THUMB!!
(I helped save b3ta! nel Roland Rat and Kevvviiinnnnn, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:08, archived)
# I prefer
(I helped save b3ta! Dimrill HMS Average Nostril, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:10, archived)
# haha thats great!
But you can't beat filling an old spray bottle with Sarsons and without being spotted, spraying it liberally around a heaving pub/club. Genius*
*requires abnormal sense of humour to understand.
Edit: it might be worth pointing out the humour part is seeing the 'christ what the fuck is that hideous smell' reaction of the patrons when they smell the stuff. It absolutely reeks.
(I helped save b3ta! nel Roland Rat and Kevvviiinnnnn, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:15, archived)
# Cor
I live about 1/2 a mile away from a vinegar factory. It absolutely reeks.
(I helped save b3ta! Dimrill HMS Average Nostril, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:25, archived)
# GRAFTGOLD!!
:)
(I helped save b3ta! nel Roland Rat and Kevvviiinnnnn, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:32, archived)
# hahahahahahahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! mugatu, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:17, archived)
# mine was in the hospital cot and everytime i cleaned her up and got read to
put a nappy on her more would ooze out!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:11, archived)
# and i replied to the wrong post!!!
*smacks head on desk*
*lies in an ever increasing pool of blood*
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:16, archived)
# mine was in the hospital cot and everytime i cleaned her up and got read to
put a nappy on her more would ooze out!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:11, archived)
# dammit!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:14, archived)
# seems i
can still laugh at you!
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:18, archived)
# just you wait!!!
it'll happen to you!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:20, archived)
# *patches head*
aha nuttah!
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:18, archived)
# *sobs*
damn work!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:20, archived)
# Type 8: Like leaf mulch blasted through a riot hose
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)
# hahahahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)
# CAT!
(I helped save b3ta! mugatu, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:08, archived)
# Copyright Alas Smith & Jones Instant Coffeetable Book
circa. 1984
(I helped save b3ta! Hamster Trippin' aka Mr. Titts, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)
# really?
You'll have to forgive me. I was 6 years old, if that...
(I helped save b3ta! Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:12, archived)
# heh
Yes, it's all been done before...

How rude of me - have a Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Hamster Trippin' aka Mr. Titts, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:32, archived)
# Cat?
(I helped save b3ta! davew27 hevosen kuva!, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:10, archived)
# I'd be really worried
If I looked down the loo and found I had shat one of them.
(l4rd went back to his normal lurking on, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:11, archived)
# Oh
Just noticed that. That's abstractly amusing!
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:12, archived)
# Type 8
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:12, archived)
# won't everyone's first 1000 turds
be type 7s?
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:11, archived)
# Number 14 - the deceiver
A huge fart followed by a couple of clinkers
(l4rd went back to his normal lurking on, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:18, archived)
# Hurrah!
i20.photobucket.com/albums/b234/b3tapics/nice-1.jpg
(Northern Lovely, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:32, archived)