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Any excuse

From the Uxbridge English challenge. See all 639 entries (closed)

(

Aphex The Mink Snackless, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:01, archived)

phwoar

0_0

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:02, archived)

She needs to wear a slightly less tight t shirt.

Either that or I need to be more distracted by breasts.

NING MINKLES

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:04, archived)

'ning m'darlin'

still no sign of baby yet

(

Aphex The Mink Snackless, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:04, archived)

Bloody hell.

How's she holding up?

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:05, archived)

she's surprisingly chipper

she seems to have gone into nesting mode, the house has never been so clean

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Aphex The Mink Snackless, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:06, archived)

Are you allowed to put anything down?

After I've tidied I'm militant. Stomping into the living room, proferring item at manwife shouting 'WHERE DID I FIND THIS AND WHERE DOES IT GO?'

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:08, archived)

hahaha

she's not quite that bad.
though she did have a rant at mike this morning cos his shoes were slightly muddy

(

Aphex The Mink Snackless, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:09, archived)

God knows what I'll be like when nesting.

I assume nobody will be allowed in the house but me (and even then I'm not allowed to push it or I'll sling myself out).

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:10, archived)

I can picture the scene

*you facing left*
right you out!
*you facing right*
WHAT? What did i do?
*you facing left*
The remote control is not perpendicular to the tv guide!
*you trudging out the door*

(

Aphex The Mink Snackless, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:15, archived)

In all fairness nesting might do me good

I'm the messiest person in the world otherwise. Not dirty mess, not leaving food in places like a teenager or anything, just the whole 'wanton abandonment of clothing around bedroom' thing.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:16, archived)

*only sees the words "wanton, abandoment and bedroom"*

(

Aphex The Mink Snackless, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:18, archived)

Alright

also wanton abandonment of toiletries round the bathroom.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:20, archived)

*only sees the words "wanton" and "clothing"*

*thinks about making oriental soup with dirty pants*

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:21, archived)

What is it with you and pants eating?

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:22, archived)

I don't know

I'm just in a Capt pant eating kind of mood.

In this case, since it's a starter, I would just use your pants as stock.

Edit: my point is, I'm not actually eating them until the main course.

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:24, archived)

Well I'm not wearing them for longer than usual.

Not unless you pay loads extra.

And even then I'm not pushing it.

edit: Oh I see. Well, my point still stands.

What's for dessert?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:25, archived)

that's fine

I'm aiming for a delicate flavour to start with.

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:28, archived)

An epicure you are, sir.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:30, archived)

t shirt?

Oh right, I see it now.

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Tue 6 May 2008, 12:06, archived)

*buys a very small shirt for the Capt*

WEAR IT!

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:11, archived)

Alrighty, and what with it?

OH I SEE.

Not even pants?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:12, archived)

pants over my face like a lovely musky mask.

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:13, archived)

Say 'ah'

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:14, archived)

"ah"

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:15, archived)

*stuffs*

Nothing nicer than a man gagged with knickers.

Now get in the cupboard.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:15, archived)

*swallows*

"ah"

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drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:16, archived)

But.... but....

They were NEW.

I've got no others on me. You can eat the bra if you want, but I'd imagine that would be a bit uncomfortable.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:17, archived)

and extremely filling

=D

(

Aphex The Mink Snackless, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:18, archived)

hahaha

booooooooobies

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:19, archived)

Yeah, my bra's made out of lasagne sheets

ARMOURED (but not very well) BRA

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:21, archived)

READY THE BECHEMEL!

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:33, archived)

Best warcry EVER

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:35, archived)

The bolognaise wars

were amazing.

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:39, archived)

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I haven't had a bolognese in AGES.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:41, archived)

I go through periods of having it far too often

and then none for weeks.

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:45, archived)

I'm Italian, so my blood is about 40% bolognese sauce anyway.

(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:52, archived)

Unless you're going to bleed onto some fresh pasta for me

that doesn't help.

Anyway, bye bye.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:53, archived)

HaHa

I love ~~them~~ that..

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:06, archived)

i'm trying to get her to ask

what's a girl to do?

but am not smart enough

(

god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:15, archived)

she looks really pissed off

if you kep her on screen and dont ask anything

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:21, archived)

Too right...

It took ages for her to turn and get the pubes off her shoulder.

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:25, archived)

large breasted woman has large breasts

(

discomeats This canoe, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:09, archived)

SHOCKER

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:10, archived)

UNBELIEVABLE!

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discomeats This canoe, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:11, archived)

Lawks A Lordy!

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Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:10, archived)

how absolutely sexist

you digust me to the hilt.

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drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:10, archived)

would

but I'm couldn't pull someone with grapes, let alone melons.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Tue 6 May 2008, 12:11, archived)

I prefer grapes to melons.

Melon isn't bad, but it's a bit crap. Grapes are LOVELY.

Edit: oh I see.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:13, archived)

I'll take anything

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Tue 6 May 2008, 12:29, archived)

I didn't realise we were talking about tits.

In that case I'll have to go for mangoes then. Bit on the big side but not frightening.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:31, archived)

I still can't obtain them...

I'd go for Brussels sprout shaped tits. As for size, no more than a handful, bit wasteful otherwise.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Tue 6 May 2008, 12:35, archived)