b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » If America Were Still British » Message 9742030

[challenge entry]

From the If America Were Still British challenge. See all 482 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:00, archived)
# Damn, those are reasonable prices too
I think I'll have the full English :D
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:04, archived)
# Really?
Clearly my local greasy spoon use the worst ingredients possible ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:05, archived)
# You ought to see our Work's Canteen
especially if you work as a Health Inspector you should really see our work's canteen ;)
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:08, archived)
# Arf!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:10, archived)
# *hungers*
Tiffany's is a great name for a greasy spoon.

*steals*
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:05, archived)
# see?
told you it was a good idea

I'm going there for breakfast, lunch AND dinner
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:08, archived)
# Long way to go for a meal dude ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:21, archived)
# There's a place on the A38
in a layby called 'Breakfast at Timothy's'
(I helped save b3ta! IHaveABadFeelingAboutThis most likely working from home on, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:09, archived)
# That is just terrible!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:15, archived)
# Damn it
I'm hungry now.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:05, archived)
# Mwahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:06, archived)
# Fuckfest at Tiffany's!
Why didn't I think of that a fortnight ago. Doh!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:05, archived)
# I don't know.
why didn't you think of that a fortnight ago?
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:06, archived)
# I don't know
I blame the weather
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:08, archived)
# blame Gordon Brown
everything's his fault these days
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:09, archived)
# Oh,
I was waiting for the punchline. I thought it was a joke :(
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:37, archived)
# Oh.
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:40, archived)
# When I order a Full English I never get chips
what a swizz
(I helped save b3ta! Carian - Get all your loser heads up, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:05, archived)
# You need to get a better greasy spoon young Carian!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:07, archived)
# Technically...
chips aren't part of a full english, is probably why

sausage, bacon, egg, beans, shrooms, tea, toast
Piossibly black pudding or hash brown, is yer standard
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:09, archived)
#
toast fried bread
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:10, archived)
# It seems that the accepted
full english varies round the country.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:12, archived)
# you mean that not everyone puts
egg, bacon, beans, hash browns, white pudding, black pudding, haggis, fried bread, french toast, toast, link sausage, square sausage and tattie scone into a blender then has the mixture fired down their throat with an elephant gun?

Don't know what you're missing. You can get that in BHS in Glasgow.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:27, archived)
# Get rid of hte beans
and I'd be in heaven.

I'm going to buy some Aldi Fake Bacon, some cheap sausage that approximates our sausages, some cheap bread, and some Blotwurst, and have a proper fry up. FUCK THE DIET.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:28, archived)
# :)
mmm
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:30, archived)
# I must try this!
We did make a fry up at my mates when I was up there recently and he had Pork and Haggis sausages, which was nice.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:32, archived)
# Haggis on toast
is very nice, especially with some HP.
(I helped save b3ta! gingerfreak Why? Why not., Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:37, archived)
# Haggis is very nice
full stop.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:38, archived)
# batter it, deep-fry it, coat it in salt
and eat with loads of chips.

fantastic.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:40, archived)
# I am engorged.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:41, archived)
# me too
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:43, archived)
# You can get that on the NHS in Glasgow
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:34, archived)
# hahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:35, archived)
# hash brown???
beans is also suspect, fried toms and bubble and squeak ftw
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:12, archived)
# Chips make it into a fried brunch

(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 17:05, archived)
# lol swizz!
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:11, archived)
# I want to resurrect the word swizz!
(I helped save b3ta! Carian - Get all your loser heads up, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:12, archived)
# Swizz army knife
Only 1 attachment and it's a spork
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:15, archived)
#
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/swizz
(I helped save b3ta! Carian - Get all your loser heads up, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:18, archived)
# Did you just add that?
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:21, archived)
#
No t'was there haha, but I wish it was me that did!
(I helped save b3ta! Carian - Get all your loser heads up, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:22, archived)
# FEED ME!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:06, archived)
# Seymour?
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:07, archived)
# :D
I hope there's some bubble and squeak hiding under the menu somewhere.
(I helped save b3ta! fannycradock, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:09, archived)
# Bubble and Squeak
and Chips? That's just crazy!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:11, archived)
# Ha
I'm actually from the camp that doesn't want chips with my fried breakfast, I'd much rather have bubble and squeak.
/FOOD OPINIONS ON THE INTERNET LOLZ blog
(I helped save b3ta! fannycradock, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:17, archived)
# It also needs a cup of mega strong tea, and a strawberry milkshake (thin, not thickshake)
(I helped save b3ta! fannycradock, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:18, archived)
# Strong Tea, yes,
Milkshake with breakfast? You loon!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:19, archived)
# It's a beautiful thing.
(I helped save b3ta! fannycradock, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:22, archived)
# That is may as well be,
but hardly traditional!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:32, archived)
# Hahahah! Cor blimey, I'm getting really hungry now....
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:10, archived)
# Bwahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:11, archived)
# damn you sushi, DAMMMNNNN YOOOOUUUU!
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:13, archived)
# I'm so freaking hungry.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:13, archived)
# Eat some food then.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:14, archived)
# You filthy deviant
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:16, archived)
# I have none, Michael. I also have no money. It's a sad day for my tummy.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:17, archived)
# This is sad.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:20, archived)
# here, have some left over kebab
(I helped save b3ta! McBadger COW, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:25, archived)
# someone post something this is making me hungry.
there is a lack of proper bacon here. :(
*can't wait to get back to uk*
also, *spang*
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:17, archived)
# The UK cannot wait either. It told me.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:19, archived)
# I did make sure to only post
it after lunch. I'm sorry :(

Also, I have lots of Black and White Pudding in the fridge! Woot!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:19, archived)
# shut up
in better news, due to the lack of pies, I have been making my own! They're fucking brilliant. Pies and pasties galore round my house these days.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:20, archived)
# I have no pies.
So I guess that makes us even?
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:21, archived)
# roughly, i suppose
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:24, archived)
# This is lush.
(I helped save b3ta! fannycradock, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:19, archived)
# yeah what is it with the germans?
do everything you could ever think of with pork except make bacon.

i found some thin "bacon" in aldi. that's the closest i've found to what i'd call bacon. fuck knows what they think when they look in their dictionary, translate "speck" as bacon, and order some in a british cafe and then actually get something that *tastes* of something and is a decent size and GAAAARGH I MISS BACON SO MUCH

sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:19, archived)
# yep
to make things worse, tegut had "Englischer Art" bacon in. I almost wept with glee, bought two packets, had a great bacon time, with proper bacon.

However, that is the only time they have stocked it. I should have kept the packet, as I'm no longer sure if it happened, or if it was just a wonderful dream.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:22, archived)
# I think it must have been a dream
because there's no such shop as Tegut over here. :(

There's a cafe near my flat does a British Breakfast. I've never felt like stumping up the 13 or 14 euro it costs, so I've never been able to test whether the "bacon" on it is actually bacon or not. I think I may go there this Sunday and see. It's worth it.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:25, archived)
# wouldn't count on it.
there's a cafe near me that does similar extortionate breakfasts, but despite the "London" breakfast claiming to be Englisch, it still has shit bacon.

tegut is perhaps an east germany thing... not sure. There are a few supermarkets around the place, but I assure you it exists in my neck of the woods.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:30, archived)
# Could just be a normal Germany thing
Heidelberg does not count as Germany, it's its own weird little bubble. For all I know there's Tegut just a mile along the Autobahn, but around me I've got Lidl, Aldi Sued, Rewe and Kaufland.

This cafe's breakfasts are normally superb, and way too large, but I'm not banking much on finding proper bacon there. There's a good chance I'll be forced to spend three months back in Britain at the start of next year while I job-hunt. I shall gorge myself on bacon to prepare for my next stint on the continent.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:32, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Elvis impersonator, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:29, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 15:30, archived)