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[challenge entry] altcomp

From the The Censorship Challenge challenge. See all 503 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:28, archived)
# ALSO:
Is there anyone here who uses Fireworks and who is willing to give me some help please?
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:36, archived)
# When placing rockets with sticks, it is best to put the sticks in some kind of tube rather thank shoving them directly into the ground.
Otherwise they can fly of in crazy directions or just explode where they are.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:42, archived)
# Throw fireworks into sky. Watch in awe.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:44, archived)
#
sky petrol station
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:46, archived)
# As their newsreaders burn.
(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:47, archived)
# Always ensure that your animals are safely shut inside before using fireworks.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:44, archived)
# Blow your arms off for fun and profit!
(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:45, archived)
# In the morning it's fun to collect the soggy discarded remains of rockets. Sometimes I like to wonder how high they went. Sometimes I write about it in my diary.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:46, archived)
# As a child I always used to run out and try to collect the little paper parachutes that used to come down with some of the rockets.
True story.
(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:48, archived)
# I bet it broke your heart when they went in the neighbours gardens.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:54, archived)
# The best firework I ever saw was at my village fete.
It exploded and shot out hundreds of little action man - like figures which floated down under little parachutes.
There ensued a great battle involving much bloodshed as all the kids in my village went mental trying to get them.

The best firework display I ever saw was went someone working at my local firework factory left the door open between the room where they assembled the fireworks and the room where they stored 4 tons of fireworks. One of the fireworks being assembled went off and flew through the door.
I believe you can still see footage of the resulting explosion on youtube. It destroyed our roof and most of the windows.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:55, archived)
# Ah, here it is.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPFXD-DsPTM
Seriously, watch it, it's awesome. Some of the bystander's remarks are hilarious too.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 3:00, archived)
# "it was hungry - it was angry - it was turning into a sort of monstrous beast"
 
excellent
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 3:06, archived)
# My favourite is the guy who tuts "There's a girlfriend of ours who works in there, oi 'spect she's dead'.
Mind you most things sound hilarious when said with a strong West-Country accent.
Bill Bailley is a good example of this. Justin Lee Collins bucks the trend.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 3:10, archived)
# no fatalities, then?
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 3:13, archived)
# No, but some guy managed to break his neck trying to fix his roof the next day.
He survived though. Eejit.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 3:14, archived)
# we had a coolstore factory exploding last year in the Waikato, not quite as impressive
www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-sQqaufYVs

one fireman was killed though, and several others badly hurt
www.nzherald.co.nz/fatal-coolstore-fire/news/article.cfm?c_id=1501820&objectid=10502358
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 3:11, archived)
# That's a pretty big fire. Is that near where you live?
EDIT: Shit, sorry to hear about the people who got hurt/killed. Hope it wasn't anyone you knew.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 3:15, archived)
# about an hour's drive
but of course it was big news.

google maps
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 3:34, archived)
# I wish I lived someplace cool like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 3:51, archived)
# they're all out of cool.
 
uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Hamiltron_city_of_the_future
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 4:37, archived)
# Affix fireworks to shoes to obtain: Rocket Shoes (+50 spd).
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:52, archived)
# Fireworks is shy but fireworks like to make you happy.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:52, archived)
# oh mofaha
expecting a serious reply on b3ta
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:53, archived)
# point them AWAY from your face.
(I helped save b3ta! AgentMuu hentai coordination, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:54, archived)
# But not so far away that they point at your testicles.
(I helped save b3ta! Grampa, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 4:08, archived)
# Affix fireworks to pant to obtain: Fire Pants (+100 cool).
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:54, archived)
# Have you checked your CMYK settings?
 
It could just be the monitor.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:57, archived)
# Save matches by lighting your fireworks off other fireworks.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:57, archived)
# ^ winner
(I helped save b3ta! AgentMuu hentai coordination, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 3:02, archived)
# I use Fireworks but I have comedy answer about fireworks for you instead.
Do not be like my former boss and shoot mortars at undercover police officers from your roof to impress girls - ESPECIALLY if you recognize that the cop lives in your building and he is likely to come up to tell you he was not really sure whether or not to use his service revolver to respond to your repeated attempts to hit him.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 4:47, archived)
# Or at least don't be me, standing right next to my boss while he does this, wearing a sailor cap because I myself was firing off a flare gun, drunk, not giving enough consideration to how long it takes flares to burn out, say, once they land on a building
across the street.

By the way, I don't know how to use Fireworks.

Best 4th of July ever, though.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 4:49, archived)
# You arrived late to the party
and just after I'd considered and then rejected the idea of changing my original post to say, "ALSO: if you've ever had unprotected anal intercourse with one of your grandparents, post an amusing story about fireworks below".
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 5:08, archived)
# what about more than one of them
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 5:15, archived)
# I can't stand boasting.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 5:21, archived)
# good work on the gas bag
baloon's not bad either
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:36, archived)
# YELL AT MY DICK
(I helped save b3ta! AgentMuu hentai coordination, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:53, archived)
# HEY DICK
YOUR A DICK
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 3:52, archived)
# my dick says WHO YOU CALLIN A DICK, DICK?
its voice is startlingly similar to Joe Pesci.
(I helped save b3ta! AgentMuu hentai coordination, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 4:20, archived)
# he's funny, he makes me laugh.
 
Like a clown.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 4:31, archived)
#
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIot-vgqJBA
4:25
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 4:39, archived)
# hehhehheh
 
that's another show I've only seen in clips on youtube
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 5:09, archived)
# ALL TOGETHER NOW
 
woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:56, archived)
# FFAAARRRHHH.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 2:57, archived)
# Hahahaha
Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 3:11, archived)
# NYUCK.GIF
(I helped save b3ta! elbow, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 3:24, archived)
# NAHYAAAAHAAHHAAHHH!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 3:47, archived)
# I love this.
(I helped save b3ta! - D - SharkTrousers, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 8:30, archived)