b3ta.com challenge: animal facts
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animal facts

We're putting on our zoology blouses and doing our best David Attenborough impressions this week, as we take a trek through the world of made up animal facts. Lie through your teeth and illustrate the result.

(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 24 Mar 2016, 7:50)
Pages: 3, 2, 1 (or see the popular posts)
# Pandas are actually Koalas who arrived in China on a gap year in 1988 and never fucked off.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Sat 26 Mar 2016, 16:43, More)
# contrary to popular belief, dinosaurs didn't die out in sweden
they make great pets, and can be trained to protect vulnerable single women. they can be calmed by listening to abba and enjoy profiteroles and belly rubs
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 26 Mar 2016, 16:31, More)
# You're never more than six feet away from a Mandarin Duck...

(AdrianJ, Sat 26 Mar 2016, 9:04, More)
# True fact.

(I helped save b3ta! brianftang www.brianftang.co.uk, Fri 25 Mar 2016, 19:04, More)
# dial-up dickweeds

(blah di blah di blah blah, Fri 25 Mar 2016, 15:25, More)
# Bear Grylls was actually born a real bear.

(I helped save b3ta! Flash_Bastard, Fri 25 Mar 2016, 14:03, More)
# The Vacanti mouse was so popular in 1997 that it even had its own toy


Fact may have been shoehorned in after the photoshop
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 25 Mar 2016, 11:09, More)
# As pork and frogs hold opposite charges, a piglet can be reset if held too close to a frog.

(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Thu 24 Mar 2016, 20:03, More)
# Dogs can't look up.

(I helped save b3ta! MyFrontFellOff ; his mouth full of teddies, urinating defiantly, Thu 24 Mar 2016, 18:05, More)
# dogs are racists

(pastry, Thu 24 Mar 2016, 16:19, More)
# Zebra will always provide up to 75% off total purchases when scanned.
.
(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Thu 24 Mar 2016, 15:53, More)
#

(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Thu 24 Mar 2016, 14:32, More)
# Whales love sunbathing, but are too lazy to get back in the sea.

(pastry, Thu 24 Mar 2016, 11:30, More)
# To counter a decreased labido in aging males
female giraffes often wear stockings to encourage sexy time

(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 24 Mar 2016, 9:56, More)
# Canadian giraffes hunt grizzly bears for their fur, and for sport

They are referred to by the native people as the 'cunts of the animal kingdom'
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 24 Mar 2016, 9:44, More)
# The Nepalese toraffe has no natural enemies, except itself

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 24 Mar 2016, 9:43, More)
# Giraffes only have torsos in the first 2 years of their lives

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 24 Mar 2016, 9:40, More)
# Maximum Fluff

(I helped save b3ta! brown-wings Made with three kinds of butter, Thu 24 Mar 2016, 9:37, More)
# if we're reposting giraffes...
Fully extended, a giraffe's neck allows it to lick clouds

(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 24 Mar 2016, 9:14, More)
# I'll start off then
The 16-kneed giraffe has 17 knees

And cannot count further than 16
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 24 Mar 2016, 9:09, More)
Pages: 3, 2, 1 (or see the popular posts)