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This is a question Awesome Sickies

A colleague has been off work for two weeks now - apparently he's got something they can't diagnose, (although they know for sure it's not Legionnaires, Malaria, BSE or AIDS, he's supposedly in isolation). We are all sure he's merely sitting in the sun waiting for the World Cup to come on the telly.

What have you invented to get off work?

(, Fri 9 Jun 2006, 7:40)
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Drunk
I worked for this company for about a year and a half, and being a temp-worker, i got switched between departments every now and then, to wherever it was busy.
Anyhow, i had just been moved to yet another department, when a friend of mine chose to celebrate her birthday on wednesday night in the bar i work at myself in the weekends. One beer led to another to another to another, thus resulting in the usual "i'll go home after this one"-bullshit you always tell yourself when drinking on a weeknight. Last bus came and went without me.
"Fukc it, i'll take a cab home" thinks me, and i proceed to yet another(this time really the last one) bottle of beer. Cue to 3 am when all customers have gone and just me, said friend and 2 other staff that were still there. "Let watch a movie on the beamer" was yet another great plan, and more beers followed.
At some point i realise that it's 5 am, and no matter what, i'm in no condition to work 8 hours in an office at 8 or 9 am. I decide to pull the all-or-nothing trick. I switch off my phone, proceed to drink 'till 9 in the morning, fall asleep and wake up at noon. I go home, go to bed again and switch my phone back on at 9 PM.
Voicemail.
" Hi, we missed you at the office today, could you please contact me asap?"
"Sure. Tomorrow" The next day i pick up my phone to call the office. I never worked on friday, so i had that day off anyway.
"Hi , where were you yesterday?"
I put on my most surprised voice;
"Huh?? I took that day off two weeks ago, i thought i'd told you!"
Turns out that someone in that department hadn't showed up for work a couple of months earlier, and they found him in his home, he had committed suicide.
"No, no problem, we're glad everything is okay with you. Enjoy your weekend and see you on monday"
One of the big escapes. Not one you can pull off on a regular basis.
(, Tue 13 Jun 2006, 23:06, Reply)

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