After more than a year of pestering
I finally managed to talk my girlfriend into agreeing to a bit of back-door action. All went well until the time came to pull out, when a little bit of poo decided to follow. The noxious stench of shit immediately filled up the room, and I’m ashamed to say I had to make my excuses to go be sick in the toilet. A 90 degree wash of the sheets and plenty of airing out of the room soon followed. Surprisingly enough I haven’t requested a repeat performance since.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 16:39, 17 replies)

Preperation is everything.
Bums are where poo live.
( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 16:41, closed)

I completely agree (now)
If I ever decide to partake in such activities again I'll be sure to starve the lady in question for a few days beforehand.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 16:51, closed)

"Kleenprep" or "Golytely"
that is all...
Cue the words 'World' and 'bottom'. There will be no poo (for quite some time)
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 22:51, closed)

I had some before a colonoscopy *ahem*
The missus said the worst bit was hearing me sobbing on the loo after 2 days of never ending bum-wees.
Seeing the results of the camera going up my jacksie and through the lower reaches of my alimentary canal on a big screen tv was surprisingly interesting actually!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 25 Jun 2011, 0:49, closed)

Just one reason as to why I'm not gay.
The other is I don't like men.
( Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:02, closed)

Why not let them bum you instead? That way you don't even need to look at them! Every one is, as they say, a winner.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:50, closed)

Find a woman without a slack fanny?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:45, closed)

And then take a shit in it
before fucking it? I like your style.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:34, closed)

A blumpkin?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 25 Jun 2011, 1:35, closed)

I just googled that
And I am quite intrigued by the idea. I was thinking more 'Alabama hotpocket' though (as featured in last week's question thing)
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 1:53, closed)

That's right! I'd got them confused.
Thank fuck for b3ta, google and urban dictionary eh?.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 25 Jun 2011, 6:03, closed)

My friend at college uttered the immortal line after telling us about earning his brown wings
"I pulled out and it looked like a lion bar!"
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:51, closed)

It was more like a Boost
If I'm being honest.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 23:06, closed)

Not a finger of Fudge?

(square go, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 23:23, closed)

Just enough
To give the kids a treat
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 23:23, closed)

It's when it looks like a Curly Wurly you want to worry
(DBS, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 16:16, closed)

Nothing in your story
makes it clear whose bum was suffering from a dodgy gasket. Were you taking a strapon from her for the very first time?
Give yourself nice enema first, use plenty of lube, you'll enjoy it next time.
(Rsoles, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 19:34, closed)