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This is a question Break-up Stories

Freddie Woo sends us a tale of woe which ends: "I could live with being cheated on. What really got me that there was clearly a third person holding the camera, and the arse pummeling up and down sometimes had a tattoo, sometimes it didn't. I moved out that day." Tell us about how a relationship's come crashing down around you.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 13:18)
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Ah, relying on the patented tried and trusted formula of
Absolutely anyone who likes to travel = Tarquiny twat

Top middle-class loathing there sir, keep up the fine work.
(Dildo Bugger destroyed a ring on, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 21:07, 2 replies)
Actually it's more along the lines of
Using words like Dromomaniac = Tarquiny twat.

You Tarquiny twat.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 22:05, closed)
I apologise for your obviously stunted vocabulary
Praps I shud tlk lik n ignrant kunt so u unnerstand, innit?
(Dildo Bugger destroyed a ring on, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 23:19, closed)
I like travel. You're a tarquinny twat.
Not sure why this is confusing. It's probably a side-effect of you being a tarquinny twat.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 22:36, closed)
I note that he didn't actually deny being a Tarquiny twat, the massive fucking Tarquiny twat.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 23:15, closed)
I think it's good that b3ta acts as therapy
for people with complexes like yourself. Why don't you and Ranty McRanter bum each other into a higher level of foaming-at-the-chops general indignation at the world and launch your own little keyboard crusade? You sad little internet warriors, you.
(Dildo Bugger destroyed a ring on, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 23:25, closed)
Awww. Tarquin is a homophobe as well as a cuckold. Sweet.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 13:41, closed)
You do know delusion is a psychiatric disorder you can get help with.
Don't you?
(Dildo Bugger destroyed a ring on, Sun 15 Sep 2013, 7:29, closed)
You mean like thinking that running away to work in Oz for a few months qualifies as 'travel'?
Or thinking that typing essays of justification on a messageboard makes you look less of a plonker?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 15 Sep 2013, 8:48, closed)
Your username
merely serves to underline your capacity for reason.
(Dildo Bugger destroyed a ring on, Sun 15 Sep 2013, 16:05, closed)
A doctorate in mathematics is generally a pretty good indicator of mental acuity, you're right.
But what are we to make of your hilarious Tarquiny username? I bet the other boys in the dorm thought you were such a one, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 15 Sep 2013, 21:26, closed)

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