My thoughts on the subject:
From the ice-age to the dole-age
There is but one concern I have just discovered

Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girl's mothers are bigger than other girl's mothers

Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girl's mothers are bigger than other girl's mothers

As Anthony said to Cleopatra
As he opened a crate of ale
Oh, I say:

Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girl's mothers are bigger than other girl's mothers
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girl's mothers are bigger than other girl's mothers

Send me the pillow ...The one that you dream on ...Send me the pillow ...The one that you dream on ...And I'll send you mine
(McChinaman banned, Thu 6 May 2010, 21:43, 2 replies)

i miss my boobs
2 years ago, i had magnificent boobs. 50JJ, if you must know. bras cost me £20 each, men looked at my boobs instead of my face, i could fit a full toilet roll in my cleavage without anyone noticing. i fucking loved my boobs.
unfortunately, the size of my norks was largely due to the size of the rest of my body, which was far larger than the average bear. something had to give.
so, i had weight reduction surgery. it has been a huge success, apart from my poor baps, which have now shrunk to a 36C and resemble spaniel's ears.
god, i miss my tits.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 6 May 2010, 21:39, 4 replies)

There was a teacher in highschool
Who was rumoured to have a pair of wooden tits.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Thu 6 May 2010, 21:20, 6 replies)

I'm a straight girl...
but I must admit I do love a cracking pair of tits.

I have bigguns, but they rarely get an outting these days. And they are poorly :(
(Just a girl., Thu 6 May 2010, 21:14, 4 replies)

Back in high school...
...my class got started in on an argument over what breasts are made out of. Everyone had to add their theory. Some people were backing muscle, others were proponents of fat. There was even a "uh... cartilage...?" answer. Yeah, we laughed at that guy. No one bothered to actually look it up, so the debate continued on to the point of absurdity.

Finally, upon querying a guy from another class, we got the ultimate answer: "breasts are made of joy."
(Exempt OH WOW, VICODIN, Thu 6 May 2010, 21:07, 1 reply)

Coping a Feel at Work
I was a 23 year old fairly new Radiographer working in Cardiff, and was x-raying a shoulder (? Arthritis, so the lady was not in the first flush of youth).

I called in the lady, who was wearing a purple velor shell suit, as can be found in Lidls, or indeed any supplier of shit clothing.

Once I have done the obligatory ID check, she tells me that she had no clips, hooks or necklaces on, I figure the cheap, thin material should pose no issue for my x-rays, and decide not to change her into a gown.

Once she is stood in font of me, I need her to turn 25-30 degrees towards the affected side, so I do what I always did up to that day, and place my hands on the alar of her iliac bones (the top of her pelvis), a handy, safe place that will allow you to move the patient exactly where you need them to go.

And realized that I had my hands on her breasts, which were on her pelvis. She didn't wear a bra, because she would have needed a pair of sown up windsocks. Think Mrs Cokesondic from South Park. In my shock I look up, and she gives me a wink.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!
(micmac is happy as a pig in shite, Thu 6 May 2010, 20:28, 4 replies)

Tits on the train
Well, tit really. Many a moon ago, with a previous girlfriend, I whopped out one of her norks and chewed on it whilst on the train from Southend-on-shite to Nodnol. And no, there was no one else on the train....at least no one that I could see.

How rock n roll am I?! (Probably not much) \m/
(RVD420 has his world coming down on, Thu 6 May 2010, 20:22, 2 replies)

a story of disappointment and woe
aged 13: i cant wait to grow boobs
aged 14: aha! slight changes...
aged 15: hmm, i must be a slower developer
aged 16: an extremely slow developer
aged 17: any time now
aged 18: bugger

flat as a pancake. luckily, i am not one of those poor fat people with no chest. i have skinny legs. that must be the next QOTW... my self-esteem demands it
(ladyintheradiator, Thu 6 May 2010, 20:10, 8 replies)

sister
My sisters norks are fucking HUGE. I don't know what size they are in bra-speak, but suffice to say, they are massive. She is able to smuggle nearly full pints of beer out of pubs by shoving the glass down into her cleavage.
Not firm though - I suspect they would trip her up if she weren't careful. Her bras are masterworks of engineering that would make Brunel proud.
(dave likes cheese, Thu 6 May 2010, 20:02, 3 replies)

Mine forgot to grow,
boys shout nasty things and it makes me want to cry.

A lot.
( Wiggle nom, Thu 6 May 2010, 19:56, 12 replies)

What I want to know is
why are there only two?
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 6 May 2010, 19:54, 7 replies)

Mine are called pecs
And I think they are the only reason the other half stays with me.

Pushups work marvels.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Thu 6 May 2010, 19:44, 1 reply)

This won't go down well at all, but
Lovely as they are, big booby ones really don't do it for me.
Aren't lady legs and bums (both types) about a gazzillion times sexier, nah?
Forever onward labelled as a perv I expect, but I just don't get it.
(shinypurplebit booked his tickets (yay) on, Thu 6 May 2010, 19:20, 10 replies)

Chicken Breasts
I was 15, if I remember correctly. It was the last week of the school year and for some reason, I don’t know why, the teachers decided to put on a school play for the kids.
I don’t remember much about the play, though I’m sure it was embarrasing for all involved and all that saw.

Not as embarrasing as it was for our Maths teacher, however. Ms Dunkley, she was dressed as chicken, again, no idea why.

Having survived the first half of boredom and embarrasment we were forced to endure the second. When the chicken came back on stage for second half, the front of the suit was unzipped and completely open. On display for the whole school to see was Ms Dunkley’s quite magnificient boobs.


Such as shame she was a bitch
( real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Thu 6 May 2010, 18:56, Reply)

Brown, round, and unlawful
I did something to a girl (actual girl, not woman) while in South America. Which landed me in a spot of bother, with her folks and Juan Q. Policia.

But we were quite besotted with each other, and while I was in the local gaol, while they were trying to figure out what to do with me, as I had no passport or identifying papers of any kind, she came to visit me, which was a feat in itself, as her father had been kind enough to explain what a shotgun wedding meant in those parts.

Anyway, the sargeant gave us a minute or two alone (not in the cell, he wasn't that silly, he just let her talk to me through the grille). She immediately asked for my hand and then shoved it down her top. Which was great. Boobs!

No, she didn't smuggle me in a lockpick or gun or anything. Just let me feel her up one last time. Which was fantastic.
(Clerk T Hazarde are all the wine, Thu 6 May 2010, 18:46, Reply)

Mother left bedbound by N cup breasts has operation to remove 2.5 stone of flesh from her chest
A mother-of-four who was left bedbound for six months because of her N cup breasts has had an operation to remove two-and-a-half stone of flesh from her chest.

Peruvian Julia Manihuari's chest started growing seven years ago after the birth of her third son, until they reached a size N, leaving her unable to move.

'It was awful,' said Mrs Manihuari, 29, who lives in a rural area of Peru near Loreto. 'If I tried to get up I would faint because my breasts were so heavy.'

The farmer's wife, who is only 5ft, was finally helped when local media paid for her to take a three-day boat journey to the nearest town to seek medical help.

Mrs Manihuari and her husband Ascension were flown to the capital Lima where doctors diagnosed an extreme form of Bilateral Gynecomastia, an illness where the mammary gland keeps growing.

Doctors at the Loayza Archbishop Hospital were worried the weight of her chest could crush her lungs and kill her.

Mrs Manihuari was rushed in for a six-hour operation, during which she had two-and-a-half stone of flesh removed from her chest.

Doctors reduced her chest to a 34B cup, giving the 29-year-old back her freedom after the operation a month ago.

Read more: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1271378/Bedbound-boobs-Julia-Manihuari-operation-remove-2-5st-flesh.html?ito=feeds-newsxml#ixzz0nAjnybLF
( Wanderer, Thu 6 May 2010, 18:40, Reply)

While driving home this morning...
...I remembered a fantastic story about my previous car!

But then my current car decided it was no laughing matter, and promptly crapped out in the midde of the A40...

...and by the time the RAC got me home I'd missed the compo.

A week later it happened again! I swear that thing is my arch-nemesis or something...

In case you're wondering, this time I actually wrote it off; while on a dual carriageway I got distracted by a massive pair of tits or something...
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Thu 6 May 2010, 18:36, 2 replies)

What a pair...
A good few years ago, on a fine summer's evening, I was walking down the road with my mate Tom, and coming towards us was a young lass, probably 19 or 20, easy on the eye, and wearing a low cut strappy top.

A top which was barely containing a large but firm pair of young breasts, wobbling gently as she walked, and unimpeded in their fluid oscillations by the restraining action of a bra.

We stopped our conversation as we approached, unable to multitask. I think we possibly dribbled. Once she'd passed us and was out of earshot, I turned to Tom and exclaimed, "What. A. Pair. Of. Tits!"

"Aye", he replied. "But you know what? I'll bet she was thinking exactly the same about us two!"
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 6 May 2010, 18:30, 1 reply)

You can't beat a nice pair of tits...
So here's a fine example.

(SFW)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 6 May 2010, 18:24, Reply)

Oh yeah,
Well, I once had a girlfriend who's breasts were so big, she had to have a grocery buggey to support them. I couldn't even take her out in my honda accord they were so big.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 6 May 2010, 18:22, Reply)

Walther Matthau in "A New Leaf"
"Don't let them out, Phyllis, don't let them out!"
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Thu 6 May 2010, 18:20, Reply)

I missed!
Years ago I dated a young lady whose hair had more colours than the average parrot. I think I was 18 and she was 16 or 17. She had quite a cute little behind and showed it off whenever she had a good reason.
We spent a good deal of our time together partying, and when I was with her, it always seemed I was rather chemically enhanced. Enhanced enough, apparently, not to notice her absolute lack of mammaries until the day I allowed my hand to journey up her shirt. I was stoned. We were in her room, lit by red and blue lights. We were smoking bright, green, skunky smelling weed. I slid my hand carefully up her shirt...slowly, allowing her ample time to stop me if she wanted to. I crept slowly up her chest, kissing her. Eagerly anticipating the first feel of those tender, tiny titties in my hands.
I knew by now they had to be smallish as I hadn't seen much bulging in her shirt. As I saw the tips of my fingers protrude through the top of her shirt, I realised how small. I'd fucking missed! In my stoned state, the only proper thing to do was wave a "hello" at myself and return to the wasteland I had just travelled, in search of at least a nipple to reward my efforts.
She turned out to have not much more than a pair of large nipples growing off of a flat chest. Needless to say, a couple weeks later when she decided "we'd quit partying," things came to an abrupt hault between us.
(Ben The Rat is taking over the world, Thu 6 May 2010, 18:19, 1 reply)

I had a girlfriend with great tits once
but she dumped me on a train station.
This qotw has just made me cry :(
( Hitler's Barber Soylent Green is high in saturated fat, Thu 6 May 2010, 18:12, Reply)

People really can't think of anything to say?
I'd have thought anyone with a normal male obsession with boobs would have stored up a lot of stories. Here are two:

I have a friend who was a trainer for an insurance company. At the start of a workshop, in a hot room, she decided to take off her jumper. Unfortunately the top beneath came with it, and she wasn't wearing a bra. Resultantly she flashed an entire room full of people before she even introduced herself, and then had to spend the rest of the day with them. Fortunately she was in Italy, where men will have seen the breasts of most of their friends many times, and can take seeing a pair in their stride without dribbling or losing the power of speech.


Secondly, most of you will know women who on a night out, keep their paper money in their bra. I know one lass (admittedly with industrial sized breasts) who keeps her change in there as well. It jingles when she walks, and rather than the brief, sexy, hand into the top coming back with a twenty, you get a full on rummage down the bottom of what must be a G cup bra to find what she wants!
(Sammyhaswoefullyneglectedyou, Thu 6 May 2010, 18:11, Reply)

I had a friend once with the biggest boobs EVAH.
Jennifer was a fellow student at college. She almost instantly took to me, I think, because I paid little to no attention to her boobs.

That took effort.

She stood about 5'6" tall, I would guess, and outweighed me significantly. She had deep black skin, enormous hips and boobs that somehow balanced them out in that way that only black women seem to be able to pull off. She also had an improbably small waist, so the effect was rather disconcerting. She was outgoing, all bouncy and giggly most of the time, and definitely took over the room wherever she went. But underneath all of that was a remarkably sharp mind and a bawdy sense of humor that I really liked, so we hung out together a fair bit.

One day I told her of one of my favorite spots in a local park and she was interested, so we drove over there and started walking around. The place I had told her of was at the top of a hill, a little gazebo that always had a gentle breeze and a great view of the park. We hiked up and sat in the shade for a bit, then felt the need for a beer and some food so we started down the hill toward the car and a nearby restaurant.

The hill is a fairly steep one, and I trotted down it without difficulty. But as Jennifer tried to keep up harmonics set in until she was jiggling in ways she had probably never experienced. She was wearing a rather low cut top at the time and showing impressive cleavage, as was her habit.

Then one of her boobs popped out of her bra and out of the top, did an amazing bounce and caught her full in the face.

She lost her footing and tumbled down the hill, both boobs out now and flying around like a couple of enraged watermelons. She sat up, dazed and scratched in places that had seldom seen sunlight but otherwise unhurt, and saw me as I ran up next to her. She looked down at her chest, gasped as she tried to cover them, looked up at me-

-and we both cracked up.

That was the only time I ever really got to see them, which is probably for the best, but after that all I had to do was imitate a bounce to set her off giggling.
( Wanderer, Thu 6 May 2010, 18:09, Reply)

When you first get them breasts are rubbish.
Especially if you are about 9 or 10 and you are the first one to have to wear a (admittedly very small) bra. While people are happy to admit that boys' puberty is awkward, people often forget (or don't realise in the case of men) that suddenly having big fleshy protrusions appearing from your chest is quite unnerving. At that age, noone's impressed and the opposite sex are in no way obsessed with them yet. So they are nothing but an embarrassment and an inconvenience.

Now I'm older, I'm not massively fussed about them, but they make my clothes look better and it's fun having them played with in bed :p
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 May 2010, 18:02, 4 replies)

Almost had me eye out.
..If I'd turned round.

After some years holidaying in France, I have noted that breasts are more on display the further south you go. Normandy? Too cold. North Brittany, mostly in sheltered spots. South Brittany, mostly on rural beaches.

Then we went to the Cote d'Azur. Absolutely everywhere. All ages, shapes and sizes. No shyness (the woman playing beach volleyball with her son gave me pause for thought.) No personal space either. Like the Kate Moss alike who borrowed my shower gel on the beach. Or the girl who no-hands-poked me in the back in the queue for a water slide at Antibes. Last but not least, the (presumably) German who emerged from the sea at Les Issambres, looking like the Willendorf Venus, towing her husband by the cock.

didn't go there again.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Thu 6 May 2010, 18:02, Reply)