Remixes
I don't get remixes. They've been around ever since I was knee-high to a shortarse, and I've never figured out what pleasure there is to be gained from them. Granted, some give a song a whole new feel, but they account for around 0.00000000000001%. The rest seem to consist of;
- Thudding beat
- Thudding beat stops, then starts again
- 30 seconds later, very dull bassline begins
- 30 seconds after that, tiniest sample of the guitar begins looping
- Vocals begin, synthesised to buggery so it sounds like the song's being performed by a talking birthday card
- Drop in the bit where it sounds like it's being played down a phone
- Gradual realisation that that's it for the next eight minutes, and all the interesting bits of the original track have been stripped out.

I realise the remix used to be handy for filling up the space on the other side of a single or justifying the 'bonus' CD of a Greatest Hits, and maybe this is where my bafflement has come from; I grew up having rubbish remixes foisted upon me by the likes of the cassingle (some CD singles boasted up to SEVEN remixes of the same track, all dull as balls), whereas ver yoof these days can cherry-pick the tracks they want online and leave the filler behind. And maybe remixes have got better these days because they're being made for love of music, rather than because the artist can't be arsed to write a B-side.

Actually, it gets worse; Do you remember the fad around 8 years ago of everything being remixed by Stargate? These people took any old cack (a prime example being Toploader's 'Dancing in the Moonlight') and provided a 'remix', which consisted of them occasionally stopping the track and muttering "Here we go" in the gap. Then getting paid. The bastards.

N.B. Yes, I am fully away that I'm completely wrong and I obviously haven't heard the storming new Basement Contrast Audio Dog remix of the latest Rex the High Jaxx Bullies track which is currently 'killing it' - Let's just say for argument's sake that I have heard it and consider it to be in the 0.00000000000001% of good ones, along with Fatboy Slim's 'Brimful of Asha' and the 12" mix of MC Miker G & DJ Sven's 'Holiday Rap'
(costas, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 15:28, 7 replies)

I recall
Karmacoma had 6 songs on the single alone. I think there was 12 or so versions (Including an inian version, I think) - you had to collect 'em all!
( zacherynuk @echo off, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 15:35, closed)

12" mix of MC Miker G & DJ Sven's 'Holiday Rap'
I my dear boy, very much like this!
(McJuurgensHaircut is authorised and regulated by your mum., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 15:36, closed)

Spot on
*clicked*
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 15:36, closed)

Fatboy's
Brimful of Asha was bloody awesome.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 15:38, closed)

sort of agree
when it comes to remixes of rocky indie songs, they're generally poo. but for all the various dance and hiphip silly sub-genres, they can quite often (more often than your 0.00000000000001% at least) be great and surpass the original.

and i didn't like the brimful of asha remix - much preferred the original.
(Alphabet Soap boshboshboshbosh, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 15:50, closed)

I always referred to these as earwig songs, as in every so often, earwig-o.
(Benzyl, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 16:00, closed)

Well if you're gointg to listen to shite like Toploader
Then your ears should be well prepared for that kind of treatment.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 18:10, closed)