Porn vs. Laundry
Posting that last answer reminded me of a guy I knew at school. At the age of fifteen he had an impressive collection of about twenty porn mags that I'd been lucky enough to peruse on occasion. Anyway, he decided he wanted to utilise them all at once for a fantastic mega-wank experience. So, he went through all of them and found the best double page spread in each and then laid them out to cover his entire bedroom floor so he could look at them all while he did the deed. He told us it took ages picking and choosing the lucky twenty or so ladies that were to feature in this sexual extravaganza but finally they were all assembled in front of him in a veritable collage of tits and fannies.

He was just unzipping his fly to start the fun when the door burst open and his mother came in to give him his clean laundry. Apparently she just stood on them all as she made her way to his bed to deposit his clothes. Turning to leave she quickly glanced down, saw all the upclose and personal minge shots and didn't even bat an eyelid, just walked out again.

Strangely he wasn't in the mood anymore.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 8:54, 4 replies)

That's terrible...
I mean, she COULD have bought him a cup of tea too.
( snee held his breath since, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:31, closed)

It's funny you should say this
A friend of mine was "getting down with his bad self". He must have been really getting into it, because he apparently had his eyes closed. When he finished up, he noticed a steaming cup of tea next to his bed that his mum had obviously brought in and left for him while he was otherwise engaged.

I'm skeptical of this story, but I'd like to believe that it's true. I'm assuming now that this is some sort of urban myth type thing.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 13:00, closed)

Ahh the cup of tea
Yeah, it's a very, very common urban myth that got trotted out many, many times for the Wanking Disasters QOTW and was roundly mocked. However it's so commonly told that it must have happened many times in reality to start it so you can keep believing the dream, don't worry.

Years ago, I myself was once enjoying some touchy feely pleasure early one morning when I had the house to myself. Because of this my room door was open when I was doing it (oooh daring!) It was slightly ruined when I heard my Dad loudly putting away the dishes downstairs. I've never been able to shake the feeling that he caught me and I didn't notice so he went away to do something loud until I realised I was not alone.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 14:03, closed)

Hmmm.
IIRC this was in a Viz mag.
(DjArcas, Sat 29 Nov 2008, 12:20, closed)