Advice from the Father-In-Law...
I moved in to a new flat at the weekend and, as is customary on such occasions, the family Tights and the family Mrs. Tights descended on our flat to help us pack and move on to our new pad. It’s a lovely place, new build, posh kitchen, nice carpets – and completely unfurnished. One hellish trip to IKEA later, and we’re back in the flat with many flat packed boxes, a couple of Allen Keys, and a grim determination that we are going to build stuff.

Lucky for me then, that Mrs. Tights’ Dad was a chippy when he was in the Royal Air Force. He is also, without doubt, the man that I am most scared of. He is an MOD Policeman now, and a dog handler to boot. He does several different martial arts, and in short is hard as nails. But a great guy who I get on with – I just wouldn’t want to be on his wrong side, if you like.

So anyway, me and he are building the new bed. The frame is up, and we’re just using the cams to winch the thing together. At which point, he turns to me and says:

“Now, not that you do, but when you’ve fornicated on this don’t forget to tighten these up again. It doesn’t take much to loosen them off the first few times.”

I knelt there, Allen Key in hand, and stammered “Er... yeah. Thanks.” Then we got on with tightening each others nuts.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:34, Reply)