Working tech support is great fun /sarcasm
As mentioned before, I used to work tech support for a certain fruity ISP (this was before they decided to reduce their chances of getting scurvy.)

As many of you who have worked tech support know, there are three types of people who will phone you:

Type the first is the customer who knows what they're talking about when it comes to computers. These customers are the Holy Grail of the tech support world as it doesn't matter what jargon you use.

Type the second is the customer who doesn't know what they're doing when it comes to computers and is brave enough to admit it. At least with these customers, you know to speak down to your level.

And type the third are the ones who know nothing about computers but claim to anyway. These are the really annoying ones. And these are the ones who are most likely to get angry.

One customer who called the centre ended up speaking to a supervisor who advised him that there was no way he could get his replacement modem faster. He lived in the next town over, so he threatened to come to the building where the centre was located to get his modem swapped. We thought nothing of it, until security called up about half an hour later saying that the customer was there and refusing to move till he had spoken to the supervisor.

Another customer wanted to cancel his contract, and thought they had good grounds, due to a one letter spelling mistake in his user name. Apparently it was vitally important for his email address.

Then there was the gentleman who kept phoning up due to a problem with his webmail address, from which he was running a business. Despite the fact that a) we didn't offer webmail tech support and b) it quite clearly states in the T&C that the webmail is for personal use only and you run a business from it at your own peril.

Cease and reprovides were also a good source of customer frustration. Mostly about the time it took for them to be done (as proscribed by BT, outwith our control). The other one from these were the customers who thought the broadband was attached to their phone number, would take their old number with them when they moved house, then expressed surprise that they couldn't automatically connect to their broadband.

(It doesn't help that BT sometimes screws this up. Like the poor customer I had who couldn't connect. It turns out that once BT had stopped the broadband on their old line, they provided broadband...

...to the old line. Explaining that situation to my supervisor was fun.)

And now, my favourite story. With broadband through a phoneline, the company can only guarantee a connection to the main phone socket into the house. The reason is that, even if the extention socket was put in by BT themselves, it's still not designed to carry the signal.

So, I had a gentleman call in unable to connect. I went through all the standard tests and then said I needed him to try plugging the modem directly into the main socket. He said he couldn't do that as the computer was too far from the socket. I asked how he was connecting the two of them. He said that he was using an extention cable. I asked how far the computer and modem were from the socket. He said about 30 feet. I advised him to get an extended RJ11 cable (the one linking the modem to the phone line). He refused as he didn't want a cable trailling through the house. He then insisted on a line test. I refused, pointing out that I couldn't run the line test until he had tried from the main socket into the house. (Unsaid but thought was the fact that the problem wasn't on the line in the first place.)

He then started saying that he wanted to cancel his contract. I pointed out the only way he could do that was to pay off the remaining 11 months. He said he should be allowed to as he wasn't getting the service he was paying for and that he would be seeking legal advice. I pointed out the 30 foot extention and the fact that it stated quite clearly in the T&C (which he needed to agree to both when he regestered and when installing the software) disagreed.

He then claimed that the T&C didn't apply to him because he didn't read them before clicking I agree.

At this point I was seriously tempted to tell him to get a picture of his lawyers face when he said that would be his argument as I'd love to see it. Instead I pointed out again what he needed to do, said again he couldn't cancel the contract and the call was ended.

BTW: if you have to phone tech support about a broadband problem and they tell you to unplug all the phones and try connecting with only the modem plugged in it's either a) they need you to do that or b) they're bored with talking to you/it's affecting their stats and want to get you off the phone.

Length? Longest call was over an hour.
(williamthebloody, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 15:11, 2 replies)

I am
type the second

Whenever I ring any kind of tech support I preface the call with "I'm an idiot, please speak slowly. Nothing you can possibly say will patronise me."

I rang an optics company the other day to order some microscope filters. I thought I had the right part number, but at nearly a grand a pop, I wanted to check before spluffing tax payers money on a useless pretty piece of glass so I adopted the usual "Please by nice to the stupid lady" tone on the phone. At the end of the call, tech support asked "why excatly did you call?"

"Validation?" was my reponse.

See, made him feels good about his job and I felt less stupid. Everyone's a winner.

I'm still shit with computers though. And I can't work my dvd player. Go figure...
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 15:35, closed)

Rakky...
... and you forgot your password :))
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:20, closed)