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This is a question Desperate Times

Stranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.

Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.

What have you done in times of great desperation?

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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Not five minutes ago...
This is real-time QOTW-ing, people:

There I was, sitting in the third cubicle along, quietly going about my business.

Suddenly there is the sound of feet and someone dashes into the next stall along, bolting the door behind himself.

There is the rustling of clothing before a pained cry of "Oh, God, NO! heralds an explosion of nutty slack, most of which seemed to be coming under the partition in my direction.

Having completely missed the target area the air is rent with the smell of faeces, and I look down with a great deal of dismay to see a quantity had settled on my Ben Sherman boots.

"Sorry!" said a voice before further explosions left me with no alternative but to flee for my life.

Desperate times, indeed.
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 14:44, 8 replies)
So very Wrong...
Why can't people control their bowels?

Was it female or male?
(I helped save b3ta! Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 16 Nov 2007, 14:48, closed)
Male
An in an awful hurry.
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 14:50, closed)
He was so close as well
fell at the last hurdle.

So near yet so far.

To late to hear the cry...and so on
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 14:53, closed)
So close....
...and yet so far. So he lost the photo finish then? Either that or he doesn't like the Ben Sherman brand. No manners but what a critic.
(I helped save b3ta! abefroman skating on the thin life of modern life on, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 15:00, closed)
o.O
The poor chap obviously suffered from premature evacuation.
(bigquack, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 15:19, closed)
Tis a pity
Do you at least know who he was? If only to offer salvation, in the form of a custom-turned cork.
(Tiktock Beating off flamers with a shitty stick, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 17:40, closed)
Ugh
I would have hung around and made him lick them clean.

That is seriously rank.
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Sat 17 Nov 2007, 16:43, closed)
This weekend...
...such was my disgust, I bought a new pair of boots.

My Shermans. Ruined.
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Sun 18 Nov 2007, 10:43, closed)

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