He should have his own theme tune by now.
It would go something like "It's Stalker Boy, it's Stalker Boy..." like Eddie Izzard singing "It's Hollywood..."

Stalker Boy, in his I-have-the-gay-no-really stage, used to exchange letters about which guys he fancied with his (definitely in possession of the gay) friend Tris. There were loads of these and fortunately, he never got me to read them, claiming they were "private". Anyway, he had lots of them all in one of his jacket pockets. Without thinking he emptied them all out by the back door and left them on top of the piano. They were all folded up into squares like the best secret "n of course I ♥ Paul and U ♥ Steve" type teenage letters between friends are.

The first warning sign when he came home from school that night was that the letters were no longer there.
The second was that his mum and dad, at this time blissfully unaware of what their darling son was up to, or even that he wasn't just a bit girly and didn't like rugby, were sat at the dining table with the letters all unfolded in front of them.

He got a two-hour speech from his parents about why he hadn't told them he was gay and how ashamed they were (his dad plays rugby and his mum didn't like Tris).

There were no more letters after that.
( Maladicta, Thu 1 Feb 2007, 17:13, Reply)