This is Just Like the Great Escape...
I was on a trip to the theatre. A group of us had gone to see ‘The Tempest’ at a Theatre in Ipswich. Being a) young, b) drama students and therefore c) twats, we embarked on some of the most complicated fakery of my life to date.

We were stood in the queue for drinks when, for some reason, I decided that for the course of the evening I would be German. Now, I have never been to Germany, I don’t speak German, and the accent that I adopted lay somewhere between the Germans in ‘’Allo ‘Allo’ and Papua New Guinea. The accent was, in my mind at least, not convincing.

We took our seats in the auditorium, and a very well dressed elderly couple sat down next to me. She smiled at me as they sat down, and said:

“We were stood behind you in the queue... Where in Germany are you from?”

Aha, a little opportunity to extend our game, eh? Game on!

“Hello zer! Yez, I am from Germany, from Stuttgart.”

“Oh, my husband and I love your contry”

“Yez, it iz ver’ gut. Do you, er, enjoy your stay zere?”

“Well, my husband had a heart attack...”

“No? Vell, ve haff ver gut Doctors in Germany, ja? He is well now?”

“Fine and dandy!”

“Gut.”

And so the performance started. Being, let’s not forget, English students, I proceeded to make notes in the back of my text. Before long, the Interval came around and the lights came up again. Sure enough, the old lady leans over to me again and casts a beady eye over my notes.

“Why are you making your notes in English?”

“What? Er... Vell... It iz for zer practicing of ze English. It helps us to learn!”

“Well, it’s very good.”

“Oh, tak. Zank you!”

And so the second half began. After another hour or so, we were leaving the theatre, and I was looking forward to being English again. Just as I was leaving, the old lady called to me:

“Good luck!”

Without hesitating, I responded:

“Thank you!” In my most British voice.

She laughed. I’d been rumbled by the oldest trick in the book, the cunning old bird.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:00, 5 replies)

It could have been worse
She could have shot you all dead.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:06, closed)

Is your surname...
.. Macdonald, by any chance? ;-)
(JohabMorelli is spenging merrily away, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:06, closed)

^Haha :)

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:20, closed)

yes
i do have a friend, who shall remain nameless that drunkenly thought it would be a good idea to pretend to be a scottish(dundonian to be exact) trucker one night down t'pub (rural Norn Iron) He then stupidly chatted up some old ugly bint who's mother was from Glasgow. In his inebriated state he concluded at the end of the night that retiring to the aforementioned ugly old bints residence for some carnal activity was in order. When he got there he was delighted to be introduced to her scottish mother who was babysitting the children, before being whisked upstairs to do the dirty dirty deed - all whilst pretending to be scottish - so followed apparently the nastiest walk of shame the next morning.
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:35, closed)

Danke!
It ist ein frankfurter blocken ze auspuff! Snell snell Kartoppfelkopf!

Clik-o-rama. Good karma.
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:04, closed)