Let me just whisper some sweet rantings in your shell-like ear
I always try to distinguish between the characters an actor plays and the actor's real personality.
However, when Jude Law portrays whiny cunt after whiny cunt, I really begin to wonder how much he is actually acting.
He did have an affair so it's not all blind prejudice. Well, not completely.

Oh, and I'd dearly love an opportunity to throw my own shoe at George Bush, but who wouldn't?
(TheWonderfulWombat It came to me in a dream., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 16:25, 1 reply)

Some people in this place
really need to take a quiet moment to themselves, have a cup of tea, maybe re-think where their lives are heading and why they would get so worked up over such trivial little things.

...then again saying that, every time I see Alex Zane on TV, or hear his shrill, nasal voice, I want to rip my own tits off and twat the little fucker.
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Bono
Always thought he was a prick, but his turn at the Tory party conference was the last straw. He's an Irish citizen, pays his tax in Holland, yet still thinks he can show up in the UK to tell us how to vote. Fuck. Right. Off.

I eagerly await Keith Richards' appearance at the next Fine Gael conference. See how they like a multimillionaire rock star tax exile from abroad telling them who to vote for...
(lolwhites, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 16:06, 8 replies)

i know i'm not alone with this one
kerry fucking katona.
i've met her, she's an absolute pikey horror. i really do wish she'd get festering diseased cunt pustules and drop over.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 16:04, 6 replies)

Is He Famous? Either Way I Hate Him
That twat from the Go Compare Adverts, is he famous enough to be included in this? After all he's on TV more than some of the real famous people already mentioned and even turns up on radio adverts to ruin your day.
In fact the radio adverts are even worse, you have to picture that curly shitty tache that you'd love to rip off his face and ram down his throat. Count to 10.................................

As for real famous people, i'd have to say, in no particular order, Ashley Cole, Bob Geldoff, Louis Walsh, David Blane and Jonathan Ross.

They really grind my gears.
(Midamachewspageoshirkews We don't need another hero, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 16:00, 4 replies)

Cheryl fucking Cole
Nations sweetheart?! What the bloody fuck?!

There's a million reasons why I hate her. I'm not going to describe them because you all know why she deserves a spade in the face, and it will make me barf horrifically if I have to carry on having her in my brain.

I hate her.
(Beacon, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:59, 11 replies)

The act of celebrity
I loath many people, most of whom have been mentioned here already. But the biggest problem I have with celebrities is the *want* to be a celebrity. People who consider it their goal to be famous...famous for anything, so long as they are famous. They have no dream, no ambition, no sense of purpose. They pursue not the desire to bring about world peace, or cure cancer, be artistic, to entertain, or even the desire to be the world's "best Blue Peter presenter". No, they want purely to be famous, and that is what I loath.

I also dislike all the TV companies cashing in on this vacuous desire and assuming that *everyone* wants to be on TV. They seem to think they can make excellent viewing by allowing a pig in a coat to go through your most private and personal thoughts and possessions, spread them across your kitchen floor and do a colossal steaming shit on them, and you would be GRATEFUL because you, your kitchen, and your complete lack of dignity is on the fucking television!
(MsZuzu, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:58, 1 reply)

Peaches Geldoff
She can fuck right off. I have never felt such hatred towards someone within such a short time of seeing them on my tv.

Such a pretentious lazy waste of space. Sponges off her dads name to get her everywhere because lets be honest she wouldn't get where she is based on her own talent.
She looks like a gormless horse so i fail to see how she could be a model on her own merits. Tries to be part of this "scene" yet just looks like she's going for the junkie look wthout the drugs.

After a lost remote incident (the buttons on my tv don't work) i had the misfortune of seeing her being interviewed by fearne cotton and although fearne annoys me a little, peaches made me
want to smash my tv. i've never seen anyone act so rude and obnoxious to another person.
(stitched, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:56, 4 replies)

Oh! I've thought of one!
Stewart bloody Lee.

What a patronising, condescending, smug, worthy, self-righteous tool he is.

"NO I haven't read Harry Potter, because I am an adult ... *cheering from audience* ... but YES I have read the works of Shakespeare ... because I'm an adult *more cheering from audience* ... "

What a loathesome individual - gosh, Stewart - you're so intellectual and well-read! You're a much better person than the rest of us scum!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:46, 10 replies)

That singing man
That fecking bastard who sings about pork scratchings, ringtones and tongue-and-groove floor boards during the ad breaks on Dave.

That man is an annoying cunt of the highest order.

Actually, all of the sponsor adverts on Dave have been shit and annoying, the Cobra beer drawing ones, the Speckled Hen ones and the Brian Blessed joke ones are all total piss.

The man who sells the sponsor/advert space is clearly an arse.
He's the one to hate. What a shit.
I hope he gets some tropical disease and his bowels fall out of his nose. And I hope his wife fucks off with his brother. And his daughter gets a job gargles jizz in low end porn.
( Dervel OTBC, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:44, 3 replies)

Charlie Brooker
For being one of those moaning cunts who only wants to go on and on about how shit everything is.
(Stop Bloody Antivirus Pro 2009, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:36, 9 replies)

The production team of E4, and the writers of "Friends"
I don't think I'm alone among gym members in having a favourite machine - there's one of the cross-trainers in particular that just seems... I dunno... right for me.

It so happens that it's in full view of a TV screen that is usually showing E4. And because it's showing E4, it's usually showing Friends. I don't like Friends at all. It's the comedic equivalent of magnolia paint. It makes Michael Macintyre look edgy. It's horrible. Actually, the reason why I hate it is because there's nothing to hate. I despise its emptiness.

Anyway: a couple of weeks ago, the last ever episode was on. "Hooray!", I thought. "It's gone forever!"

Nope.

The following day, in the same slot, they just started the cycle again from the beginning. I have an insight into what Purgatory is like: it's being on an exercise machine with that programme on in front of you FOREVER.

I hold especial hatred for the writers behind Friends, though. And the reason for that is that, vacuous as it is, it's incredibly well-written. Some of the lines are brilliant. And this means that, despite myself, and notwithstanding that the sound is down and it's via the subtitles that I see the punchlines, I laugh. Involuntarily.

But I don't want to be seen publicly laughing at this programme. So I have to pretend to be coughing. And I'm pretty certain that everyone can see through the charade.

So that's another reason to hate Friends. It turns me into a poor liar.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:33, 13 replies)

The covering to the storm water drain outside Paris Hilton's house.
It's so grating.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:25, 2 replies)

Zach Braff
I just don't like him. I don't like Scrubs- I feel let down by the after school special last five minutes of every show. I like comedies to be consistant- e.g. Arrested Development, League of Gentlemen and Third Rock From the Sun. (I think I could be alone being a fan of the last show...)

And he's just so smug. Especially about his own music taste, which is imposed on Garden State and Scrubs. It's good enough music, but he know it. Too well. And too much.

Best American Dad opening credit newspaper headline "Zach Braff Mania Sweeps Zach Braff Apartment".

He annoys me. And people around me who think he's a genius annoy me.
( awayfromthenumbers, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:25, 8 replies)

I hate ...
... anyone wot's been on telly and is any or all of the following -

1. Smarter or quicker of wit than me.

2. More successful than me.

3. And of course, anyone who I deem of lower talent than myself, but who has ostensibly made more of their than I have of mine .

I hate them all! Oh I do! and jealousy has nothing to do with it ...
(Clerk T Hazarde are all the wine, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:20, 4 replies)

Famous for being Famous douchbags
All of the entire foul, depraved, attention seeking, morally corrupt, intellectually stunted, fake tan orange coloured, self-centred, waste of molecule, cosmetic surgery addicted, cum sponges.

Every. Single. One. Of. Them.

Now I have taken some time pondering what I want to do to them, the manner of tortures I could put them through, leaving a pathetic lump of dying meat in the place of what once could of been considered a failed evolutionary branch of the human race and have come up with a solution that hits them where it hurts them the most.

I ignore them.

I won’t speak their names; I won’t associate myself with anything they endorse. Gossip mags, TV shows, products on the shelves, if these bags of intellectual cancer have anything to do with it I avoid it.

They live off attention, they won’t get mine.

(Although I could be enticed to watch Celebrity BB as long as it includes a mentally unstable serial killer as a permanent housemate.)
( Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Put my money where my mouth is..... DEATHLIST!!!
My dislike for many celebrities is demonstrated by my new years resolution each year.

I play celebrity death list (www.deathlist.net)

Every January 1st I pick 10 celebs that I think are likely to peg out that year. I then have a mini sweepstake with a couple of like minded friends :-)

My only rule is that you can't just pick 10 that are on deaths door anyway, you must have at least one wildcard.

Last year I was a bit dissappointed with a score of 4 out of 10.

This years pick includes a couple I was hopeful of "winning" with last year but they somehow made it through the winter :-(

It made sound a bit grim but it makes you pay attention to the news to see whats happening.

My deathlist 2010:
Elizabeth Taylor (heart op last year!)
Nelson Mandela
Ronnie Biggs (had him listed for 4 years now!)
Margaret Thatcher (Oh, come on! She's due!)
Nancy Reagan (getting old and misses the hubby?)
Amy Winehouse (was hoping she'd do time for the theatre assault)
Hugh Heffner (go with a smile!)
Fidel Castro (but would we ever find out?)
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Gene Wilder (poor bugger got prostate cancer...)
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:06, 1 reply)

Pea Roast
The greatest entertainer of all time
MR ROLF HARRIS.

Shit I can't believe I nearly forgot this one.

When I was a little fella of about 7, I, with a bunch of young mates saw Rolf Harris in the General Store on Rottenest Island, just off the coast from Perth.

Now many of you may not know (probably because you are in such awe of his true entertaining genius) that before being famous Rolf used to be a camera man for a Perth television station in the early days of Australian TV. I know this because my mum was an amateur actor who appeared several times on TV in Perth in it's early days and none other than the Big R Harris was the camera man.

Anyway, I felt that it was my duty to rush up to Rolfy boy with half a dozen 7 year olds in tow and tell him that he knew my mum. I could tell he wasn't really that interested when he replied at full volume (to children mind you)

"OH fuck off you little cunts, I am trying to have a quiet weekend with my family!" - I swear it is true.

I was horrified, I was mortified, I was angry. How dare this legend of the didgeridoo, the wobble board, kangaroo molesting and three legged pedophiles who KNEW MY MUM, be so rude to me.

Now for those who are not familiar with Rottenest Island, there are no cars, the only transport is push bikes or walking. My mates and I decided that the only real course of action was to follow old Rolf home with his shopping and stand across the street from his holiday cabin and shout intelligent abuse at him such as "Hey Rolf you are a stinky poo bum" and lob sand bombs onto his roof.

And do you know what the bearded fucker did?

He called the fucking cops................ on 7 year olds.

I must admit the young constable did look a little bemused when he arrived to this hardened gang of criminal 7 year olds, and clearly fearing for his safety decided not to enact an arrest but, suggested,

"I know Mr Harris can be a bit of cranky old man but, you have had your fun now, so its time to leave him in peace".

Which we did, and begged the cop to give us a ride in his paddy wagon, which he didn't.

THE CUNT!

Fuck I hate the cunt.
bitter?
maybe a touch of lemon
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:01, 5 replies)

Heather "Yarrrr" Mills and Amanda "The cunt" Holden
Both poisonous witches who have done less for women's lib than both Jordon and Jodie Marsh being spit-roasted (alternately) by Peter Stringfellow and Hugh Heffner, put together.

If ever I saw either whore, I'd kick pigeons in their faces to stun them before delivering them to Barry George.
( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:59, 8 replies)

Jill Dando
I used to dislike her quite a lot.... but I got it "sorted" in the end :-)
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:57, 3 replies)

Janet Street-Porter
Number one candidate for Anthrax island!

I've long since had a real hatred of the "Street-Porter".

It could be that horrible nasal voice that cuts through me worse than fingernails on a blackboard.... or the overbite that could open bottles of beer, or dare I say it even the ginger hair itself.

I find several aspects of her despicable but one that really sticks out is when she ends up getting all opinionated about Architecture when asked on TV.... Why? Because she studied Architecture at University.... well when I say studied I mean, droppped out in the first semester. Of course she did marry that twat Tim Street-Porter too.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Ben Elton
Smug self-satisfying little gobshite.

Even when he was trying to make his name as a shock comedian.. his act consisted of "Margaret Thatcher - Fuck!... Fuck Off!!"
Just not funny.

Takes a movie called "Buena Sera Mrs Campbell" plays about with it a bit, adds Abba music and deems himself a genius.

But the nutshell for me was at a National (UK) event years ago, he slags off the Scots for not supporting England in sporting events.
The Scots are a different country you schmuck. The are fiercely loyal and patriotic and would no sooner support England than they would any other country in the world (unless they were playing against England!).

You smarmy little gobshite - I hate you.
(bof, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Paul Ross
Fuck off. Please.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Danny Elfman
Danny "I write the music for Tim Burton's films" Elfman.

Danny "I used to be in Oingo Boingo" Elfman.

Danny feotid cunt-splatter on mould-fried bread in the shape of the devil's arse-pimples Elfman.

Woo. Minor chords. Wobbly Mono-synth arpeggios. Tinkly toy-piano vapidity. Modal melody fuckery like no-one else has ever heard of John Coltrane. Fucking sub-raffi ethnic percussion which sounds like a man claiming he loves the far east as he once had sweet&sour pork with half-and-half out of the carton in Cardiff at 11.45pm.

I know - why not build suspense with... oooh, I know, low marcarto strings. No-one's ever done that before ever in the history of film music. Cunt.

And those fucking Oompa-Loompa songs. That is not what Oompa-Loompa's sound like. Stop raping my childhood.

And then, just to cap it all off, hearing him claim that the songs in "Charlie and The Chocolate Factory" were "rough demos". Yeah, really rough demos with 48 tracks of your own pitch-shifted yawping. You sweated blood over them. Yes, they were shit, but you tried, and that's the important thing. Don't claim you are some kind of one-take savant.

And in "9". The puppet one. "Themes by Danny Elfman". Themes? You whistled a minor key arpeggio in the bath, some soft cunt goes ahead and scores it for you in orchestro-vision and who gets the credit?

Oh - and learn to write your own orchestral parts. Seriously. You are the best selling orchestral composer working in the 21st century and you can't event write notes on a stave?

You stinking blob of week-old horse jism. Fuck of and die, and don't write any music for it either.
(nordelius, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:39, 9 replies)

Daphne from Eggheads
Smug bitch!!


She also resembles a senile sheep!!
( Vambo, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:38, 3 replies)

The famous people I hate....
...are the ones who beg for our money on "Children in Need".

Now just to clarify this, I've nothing against the charity themselves who do wonders for the needy etc. I myself have done work on the donation lines (2007 in Cardiff, was a good laff too); but I get annoyed by two things.

1- The "desperate to appear on telly celeb" who turns up on the show, literally selling themselves to the public.

2- The fact that there's a person on telly who'se made more money in a week than I'll most probs ever see in my entire lifetime telling me that I must give my money to the needy. I kind of find it hard to swallow (cue gayjokes).

If the show was hosted by people who actually needed the money themselves, I'd most probs feel more inclined to help.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:37, Reply)

I hate everybody
Famous or not, fuck off out of my life.
(ACuntLikeYou I'm hated for loving, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Who let these ghastly little yoghurts hijack our culture?
FUCK OFF LIZ JONES YOU CUNT WE ALL KNOW THAT BIFIDUS DIGESTIVUM IS A LOAD OF WANK BUT WE JUST GET ON WITH OUR LIVES
(reducedfatLOLcat, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:31, 1 reply)

Fucking
fuck you you fucking cock fuck I'll fucking slowly cut out each one of the main veins in your feet and hook you up to a dialysis machine so I can keep you alive for as long as possible while I practice my acupuncture with carpet tacks and a pin hammer. I'll lay you on a bed of nails and drive stakes through your thighs to keep you in position while I heat each nail up with a blowtorch until it's glowing. Let me experiment with my My First Dentist toolkit I'll attach your tongue to your chin with a safety pin so it keeps out of my fucking way while I'm working until I slam your jaw shut so hard you bite it off so you can't form any more of those fucking lying cheating arse-fucking words. I'll dislocate your wrists and ankles tie ropes to your limbs and dangle you over a drumkit and force you to play along to Hanson's greatest hits hit that fucking snare you arse fuck cunt.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:25, 9 replies)

Not a person, but an organisation.
But
Help for Heroes.

My brother and sister-in-law are in the forces, and they have HfH car stickers, dishcloths and Christ-knows-what-else. They do fundraising for them.

This makes me a little peeved.

There is nothing heroic about being in the forces. It's a job, and a job for which you get paid. You don't have to join, and if you're surprised that, on occasion, you might be in a dangerous or life-threatening situation having joined the forces, then you're clearly not clever enough. You should perhaps consider a carreer as a Police Community Support Officer.

So the heroism can't be merely a measure of being in the forces. By that token, you, I, and everyone else who has signed a contract of employment for a job the demands of which were perfectly clear and from which we've managed not to get sacked is a hero.

Maybe the heroism has to do with being injured. But, again, if I fall down the stairs, or even get a work-related injury (granted, it's hard to see how someone like me who sits all day in a dingy office could suffer such a thing, but you get the picture), then that'd make me a hero. And I don't think I am a hero; nothing personal, but I doubt you are, either.

"Hero" used to indicate someone who had done something truly outstanding. Getting injured while doing your job doesn't strike me as outstanding. And by calling every such person a hero, HfH thereby devalues genuine heroism. Meanwhile, for those who do display genuine heroism, there are medals, promotions and honours. They don't need HfH.

Besides: if a member of the forces gets injured, they're entitled to claim all the benefits that someone born disabled or injured in everyday life can claim. They aren't any worse off than the civvies. If the beef is that disability benefits generally aren't high enough, then that's fine - I'll sign up to that. But it rather takes the military heroism away, doesn't it?

Something similar goes for the public grief junkie tabloid fodder halfwits who line the streets of Wootton Bassett every time someone so much as says the word "coffin". Idiots. Show some self-respect.

OK: I'll get into my fox-hole now. You can start the flaming.
(Star Wars Starwarsy McStarwars Face, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:12, 35 replies)