A mate of mine...
...is built like a bear, with facial hair to match, composure of a rhino on rohypnol and the tact of a pedophile in a Malaysian sweatshop.

All this did not stop him from wanting to become the Drag-Queen champion of Iceland in 1998 (it seems unclear to me, though, how you actually "compete" in that).

And his excitement with the project grew exponentially when we found out that Skin and Ace of Skunk Anansie fame were to be on the panel of judges.

So he took two weeks to get in touch with his feminine side -with daily practices, dress-ups, make-ups and a plethora of pink things.

And what he came up with was this:

My mate, dressed in a huge, pink nightgown gyrating down the stage to Aqua's Barbie Girl wearing make-up like a gender confused lumberjack on acid. His finale was standing before the judges (who either were laughing or crying at this point), giving them hip thrusts, like the "schwing" thrust from Wayne's World, and finally ripping his sweaty grannyknickers off (velcro) and tossing them square in Skin's face.

I didn't see her reaction to this due to the fact i had tears in my eyes from laughing, but the abrupt stoppage of Aqua glee and the hushed silence that followed gave me a clue.

My mate is my hero...at least that night.
(snordfjord Cranky...like a crank!, Tue 21 Apr 2009, 13:20, Reply)