Toilet roll
It's a two part problem and I'm sure my human rights are being abused or something.

1. The amount of wastage on a new roll breaking the paper seal on the first sheet.

2. When the perforations don't line up and there's anything up to half a sheet difference...


I'm >< this close to calling the UN.
( Larry Death Anger Pain Fear Aggression, Sat 3 Mar 2012, 18:17, 10 replies)

Oh noes! Star Wars has been ruined 4 EVA
How terrible for you.
The creator of a piece of popular entertainment has decided to release new versions of it over the years. I can see how that must impinge on your human rights.
Perhaps we should round up all those involved and exterminate them.
( Invisible Wizard - 9th Level Pissant, Sat 3 Mar 2012, 17:19, 8 replies)

Football
I've known grown men cry over thier football team losing, which seems pretty fucked up too me.

A friend of mine, who supports sunderland, didn't speak too anyone for 3 days after they lost 5-1 too newcastle. A grown man unable to function due too the loss of a football team.
(Mong goose, Sat 3 Mar 2012, 16:08, 11 replies)

My mouse is getting old
Sometimes when I click, it gets very slightly stuck, and clicks twice. Most frequently, this causes me to go back two pages in Chrome, and it's REALLY ANNOYING.
( The Coast Of Yemen, Sat 3 Mar 2012, 15:59, 3 replies)

Having to vote for a representative in the government every 4-5 years. FFS.
What a fucking tedious grind that is. Why not give it to some other sod in a foreign country? After all, were constantly being told that they're dying for the privilege!
( P-MONKE We're all fucked, Sat 3 Mar 2012, 15:54, 1 reply)

All the kiddies playing Guitar Hero for a week and assuming that they can play a real guitar,
Then getting their parents to buy up all the 2nd hand Gibson SGs and Fender Stratocasters, finding out they can't be bothered after a couple of hours trying and just leaving them in a box in their bedroom.

Thereby causing the price to go up for actual guitarists who want to buy one to PLAY IT.

This is usually the same kind of twunt who proudly declares that they're 'in a band' when what they mean is, them and some mates have decided what to call their band despite not being able to play anything, having no instruments to play and no skill to play with.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sat 3 Mar 2012, 13:45, 14 replies)

Even by first world standards, I'm aware this isn't really a problem
So Mass Effect 3 (a video game) is out next week, but due to losing my job I can't afford the collectors edition and must settle for the standard.

What am.I missing out on? An art book, a fabric patch I would never sew to anything I wear, an extra mission (that I can buy any way) extra costumes for in game characters, a metal box. I don't need any of that stuff, most likly wont use it, so why do I even care?
(Mong goose, Sat 3 Mar 2012, 13:13, 2 replies)

in 2002 you could buy three levels of stereo system when you ordered a new Jaguar XJ
Base level, Premium level and Super level.

But the US marketers said they wouldn't like to try and sell anything called 'base' level. This rings true, if you think about McDonalds drinks, they don't sell a 'small', they only sell a 'regular' even though it is the same size.

So ONLY in the US, exactly the same hardware as Base was relabelled 'Premium', 'Premium' became 'Super' and 'Super' was renamed 'Audiophile'.

All so no yank who spent $60,000 on a car had to suffer the ignominious humiliation of revealing that he only had a 'base' level stereo.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sat 3 Mar 2012, 12:39, 4 replies)

Just not good enough.
I hate it when, in the run up to pay day, my budget won't run to named products, only own brand. What is this world coming to?
(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Sat 3 Mar 2012, 10:54, Reply)

Things you can't get at the nearest shopping mall (Westfield Woden, Canberra) any more
There are 223 businesses according to the web site.

None of them sell -

Small hardware items. Oodles of power tools but no drill bits or sanding disks.

Paint

Pre-electric shave lotion. Dozens of brands of after-shave, men's skin moisturiser, hair gel and gawd knows what other muck but no pre-electric shaver lotion.

Cleaning and lubrication spray for electric shavers.

Men's hair brush, either military or handle style. Plenty of pink, lilac plastic and odd looking "styling brushes" but no plain men's ones.

An ordinary stainless steel nail file.

Partly finished jackets or trousers altered by the shop's tailors to your size.


Hard to find - a shoe horn.
(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Sat 3 Mar 2012, 8:00, 32 replies)

Organic Food.
Now I've never produced any organic food but working for a wholesaler who sold "Organic Cheese" I know because I dealt regularly with the producers the hoops they had to jump thru to get their product certified "Organic".
That "organic" cheese you just ate came from a cow/sheep/goat that was probably living right next door to a farmer/grazier who dosed his animals and land up to the hilt because it would give him a return.
I'm guessing it only cost about 2/3rd more than the amount of the the product from the farm next to it.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 3 Mar 2012, 7:54, Reply)

All those people who refuse (biodegradable) plastic bags at the supermarket
trying to be seen to save the planet but pack their shopping into millions of those ubiquitous green, blue or red rectangular non-woven-propylene bags and those sacks made from hessian/cotton grown on otherwise perfectly arable food-growing land.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 3 Mar 2012, 5:36, 9 replies)

The elusive Man of fucking Aran LP
I have been trying to get hold of a copy of BSP's record Man of Aran for 6 months. I have had lots of money during this time. Now, I have no money. Now, there are 2 copies on Ebay.
(paisleypiglet, Sat 3 Mar 2012, 4:12, 3 replies)

well ...
there's this pseudo-alt UK website
(weaselinajetengine, Sat 3 Mar 2012, 3:16, Reply)

Don't you hate it
when you rip off some paper towel and a small strip doesn't rip off properly at the perforations?
That really fucking shits me.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 3 Mar 2012, 0:56, 2 replies)

A real one then.
People in the UK who complain about the weather.
"Ooooo, it's raining today, I'll get wet."
"It's so cold today, brrrrrr."
For fuck's sake, the UK has a cool (hardly ever cold), wet climate -- fucking get over it. It had been like that all your life and will likely be like it until you die. With the odd exception of floods and out of the way places being snowed in we have no weather problems in the UK, especially England. Besides, the people complaining all have warm houses and clothing meaning they never need to be bothered by the cold or wet. Grown adults get upset because they don't have an umbrella to go out in the rain on warm days because they'll be a little damp in the warm office.
Stop being so fucking pathetic!
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Sat 3 Mar 2012, 0:02, 9 replies)

People not understanding a question
When asked to bring examples of those in privileged positions bitching about trivialities (and if you were born in the West or affluent East, then you position is privileged and every problem you have is trivial*) and instead let off with rants about what they think is wrong with the first world, thus providing plenty of examples for the actual question at hand.

There's this one person on a website who complained that their biggest problems were working out how much a mobile phone costs or if the 2-4-1 in the the supermarket was a good deal or not.
And there was this other person (on the same website no less) who's biggest issue was how to change the clock on the personal car.
And yet another who freaked out over the marketing crap printed on their boarding passes.

Well, boo-fucking-hoo.
Go live in the Sudan for a few days and get some perspective.

There endeth my examples of first world problems, and I only had to scan down the first few posts.

*Bar possibly depression and cancer, those two are utter bastards and know no geographical or class boundaries.
(SpangleDangle >->)))'>, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 23:51, 2 replies)

One of my students
who I later found gets more pocket money per week than I make for teaching her was moaning about where she was going on spring break.
"Wah, wah, I don't have any privacy the whole week!"

"Oh, where are you going?"

"To my family's cottage" was the reply.

Thinking it was a shack in rural Upper Michigan, I said, "Do you have to sleep on the couch?" or some such sympathetic drivel.

No, she has to share a bedroom with her sister in their FUCKING HOME IN TUSCANY, ITALY!

Jebus wept.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 23:18, 6 replies)

When bad weather affects your Sky dish so your picture starts to break up
It's like the end of the world when that happens! No TV! What are you supposed to do!? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 21:47, 5 replies)

Nothing costs what it costs.
If, for example, one would like to purchase a mobile phone it is not simply a case of finding out how much said phone costs, then buying it. No, the same phone can cost twice as much one place as another with no explanation as to why and that's not even getting started on the lease/hire purchase it is possible to add to a tarif.
Then you have sofas and other furniture which are always in a half-price sale with no indication of when they were ever full price.
Then supermarkets with BOGOF or 2 4 1 or whatever they decide to call shifting stock by halving prices. Or, worse, you get bulk "bargains" which are either more expensive than buying singularly or just the same but bundled in different quantities.
Why can't things just cost what they cost? Why must one spend hours working out how much things really cost, or whether it's worth working out whether it's possible something is cheaper somewhere else which mayntake longer to deliver?
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 21:22, 1 reply)

My first world problem right now is that it's my candle day tomorrow
but I can't think of any problems to post then and now I've posted this to early so I might not get to see a small pixelated representation of a candle.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 2 Mar 2012, 21:21, Reply)

Breakfast
My mate went to Russia for a month to see some friends. When he got home, there was no food in his cupboards. He only had a couple of quid left and the Bureaux de Change didn't open until after the Bank Holiday, so went and bought a loaf of bread and a pint of milk, and lived on caviar on toast for two days.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 20:02, Reply)

The Critic
Theaters can be tight little wallows of self-pity. Deafening, righteous caterwauling from all sides.

Several years ago, our local critic couldn't endure the rock singing of one of our actors: "I wanted so badly for this actor to be good ... or at least to get better, as the show progressed after its excruciatingly painful opening number. But he didn't, and it hurt to listen to him, although he certainly put heart and soul into the character's anguish." The critic pitied the actor so much she refused to name him.

The unnamed actor was flabbergasted - pitied and criticized in equal measure - and stepped outside usual theater etiquette by responding publicly to the charge of being off-key. Critic and actor alike rent their garments in convulsive public acts of self-pity.

Three years later. Different show. Different actors. Same critic. Several people responded to a checkered review with milquetoast comments: "Just keep working hard and the show will be amazing in no time!!"; "I don’t know what show she was sitting through but it wasn’t the same one I saw." Plus, the coup de grace: "Who the hell goes to opening night to write a review?"

The critic replied: "The members of the theater in question never write anything positive if I give them a good review, but I can guarantee you someone will complain about a bad review, no matter how well deserved it is, though I bend over backwards to say as much good about the company as I can. ... Still I know that opening nights are often not their best, so I give them the benefit of the doubt. Does anybody ever appreciate that? Of course not."

The critic's fraternity of critics chimed in: "Write how you really feel about them in your next review. Maybe they will appreciate you more in the future."; "It's a lack of integrity on the part of the actor, or company, to permit such childish behavior."; "The players; if they can't take the critical review, don't do the play or whatever!"; "Stupid whore. Want me to rough her up?"; "Can I add some muscle to that?"

I finally intervened to point out that the milquetoast comments on the review came from the audience, not the cast. Quietly, I hoped we lived in a world where the critic's word need not be law, and where the audience could disagree publicly with a critic if they pleased without facing a goon squad.

The wave of self-pity quickly passed, but it was illuminating.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 19:43, 10 replies)

Some people can't even afford new cars...
Because they bought 2 houses to rent out in the last year, last one was £250k.... cash. So, boo hoo (not me by the way, I can't afford 1 house to LIVE IN, or a new car!)
( Phil McCavity, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 16:31, 2 replies)

Where are my
moving walkways?

And my jetpack.

EDIT: and a wisecracking robot.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 16:30, 8 replies)

Have we had
Women who thought their lives would be improved by getting the cheapest possible breast enhnacement and then go whingeing about how the NHS should pay for the nasty things to be taken out and replaced by real chicken fillets.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 15:55, 5 replies)

Adjusting the clock in a car for BST
In my old Citroen it was easy, one button to change the hour, one to change the minute. Last year I bought a Mercedes and now have to spend ages scrolling through menus to find the clock adjustment screen. When I'm there I seem to always manage to exit before saving or jumping forward to the next screen as it's all controlled using buttons on the steering wheel. Role on 6 months and I've forgotten what to do.

Suppose I could look in the manual.
( herd of chickens First part only £1.99 and comes with a free, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 15:50, 9 replies)

I only have
19 Followers on Twitter
(cadmium Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 15:31, 5 replies)

just this morning.
A bit of pocket fluff went into the headphone jack on my Blackberry. I didn't realise until I had stuffed it further in trying to plug a lead in and now the plug wont go all the way in so the music only comes out of one set of speakers when I connect it to my car stereo.
(dave likes cheese, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 15:19, 5 replies)

I had to wait nearly 3 minutes for that woman who works in the kitchen to come in
and wipe the Kopi Luwak latte I was drinking, from my 30" Eizo flexscan monitor, after I read Vagabonds last post.
(username failed moderation, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 15:17, 1 reply)