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This is a question Things we do to fit in

"When I was fifteen," writes No3L, "I curled up in a Budgens trolley while someone pushed it through the supermarket doors to nick vodka and Benny Hedgehogs, just to hang out with my brother and his mates."

What have you done to fit in?

(, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 12:30)
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hear hear...
my wife was bullied at school to the point of having a group of boys hold her down and kick her in the back so hard it broke her coccycx (spelling?). She doesn't suffer from PTSD, she just grew up, realised they were cunts and got on with life.

She's about the most friendly, gregarious person I know, so I wish these people would stop with the Emo "the world hates me" crap and get over themselves.

Kids are bastards, always have been - if you have the wrong shoes, coat, hair, music tastes, or whatever, they'll tear you apart like a pack of feral dogs. Everyone has been on the end of it at some point - we just don't all choose to spend the next 20 years moaning about it and acting like it gives us an excuse to act like a socially retarded gimp or like a violent, moody bastard. In short, we grow up and realise that it DOESN'T MATTER.

To the OP: Spending your life with a chip on your shoulder doesn't make you a victim - it makes you passive-aggressive and means that you have probably driven away those who have done you no harm and who would have been friends or potential lovers. Self-pity is neither socially endearing nor attractive to the opposite sex.

If you're that messed up, get help and stop acting like the rest of the world should apologise - you're an adult, so act like one, take some responsibility for your life and realise that you can't keep blaming the actions of children when you were a child for your actions now as an adult. You might as well blame Father Christmas, or the Tooth Fairy.
(, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 14:58, 2 replies)

That bloody Father Christmas never brought me what I wanted.

Bastard.
(, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 15:00, closed)
Get Help? Check
Yes, I am getting help, actually. Finally getting treated for depression. The prozac isn't making much of a difference, but there's still group therapy and counselling to come.
And no, I'm not mad at the world, but I *am* pissed off specifically at the people who've been posting "I never tried to fit in and my life's just fine (implied: more fool you for trying)". And yes, I *do* lack social skills, and I *am* working on that, too. It's not Asperger's-level bad, but I *am* awkward, and I don't know a lot of the mechanics of how to make friends and connect with people. As far as blaming the actions of children when I was a child? Well, it's not a question of blame - okay, I do have recurring revenge fantasies - but recognition that at a time when people are learning important skills about how to interact comfortably, I didn't. And I'm working on making up for that now.

Not so much angry, as sad. And, yes, self-pitying.
(, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 15:34, closed)
I understand what you're saying
I too was pretty much an individual and refused to do anything in an attempt to "fit in". Looking back, if I had been a bit less intractable and more flexible, I would have had a better time and would have probably gained some important social skills which I am not strong in to this day.

Not that I'm complaining, just that "Be yourself and don't care about what anyone else thinks" is one of those crap platitudes that people spout that actually turn out to be pretty crappy advice in the real world. Kind-of like "ignore bullies and they'll go away". I always found that seeing them off with a bloody nose worked best for that.
(, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 16:23, closed)
true enough...
when I was a kid, the school bully beat me up a few times because he was a) big for his age and, b) three years above me. I could be self-pitying about it, or I could say "well, that was twenty years ago, so forget it" and still feel bad, or I could do what I actually did which was take the inevitable kicking, but hit him in the teeth with a hard-backed hymn book so he realised he'd get hurt if he tried it again. He left me alone and I got some life experience out of it.

I see so many tales on here of "oh, I was bullied and it ruined my life" - bollocks - you might have been bullied, but you did fuck all to fight back and you *let* it ruin your life.

The meek may well inherit the earth, but it'll only be after every other fucker has finished with it - these Emo-types need to grow some balls, stand up for themselves when people have a go and realise that no-one is perfect and that they might have been a bit of an obnoxious cock with their "I won't follow the crowd, you bunch of mindless sheep" attitude and soon they'll find that they're heading towards being a normal human being.
(, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 16:37, closed)
sometimes the crowd is going in the right direction
that's my piece of wisdom for today
(, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 16:42, closed)

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