Guilty, M'Lud...
I’ve got a couple, and no doubt more will surface during the course of this week.

I’ll bet that you lot didn’t know I was the World Champion of Walking, did you? Yep. Three years running (and currently gunning for my fourth (and record-breaking) title. In short, I’m the fucking bees-knees at walking.

Let me explain – I have a fairly long walk from my flat to the tube, and then again from Tottenham Court Road to my office. This is my ‘track’, and consists of various obstacles (such as road crossings, chuggers and London Lite distributors). Then, and only in my head you understand, I have a race. With full commentary. And analysis. I’ll pick someone to ‘race’ against, and if they beat me I’ll suddenly change the rules so that I won anyway. Sometimes I’ll get myself extra points by executing more complicated runs (like balancing on the kerb or not treading on the gaps between the paving slabs). It’s sad but it really makes the walk go quicker.

My other guilty pleasure – Devil In Tights, International Spy. This generally involves me identifying a ‘target’ and following them. If they’re not heading the same way as me, I’ll ‘hand them over’ to another ‘operative’ and continue on my mission. On the rare days I get home before my girlfriend, I’ll do a house clearance to make sure there’s no baddies there. Sometimes there are baddies, and I have to get them.

One day, I’ll get caught leaping around the house like some kind of retarded salmon, and have to explain my actions. I’m 27.

My excuse? Work is so excruciatingly boring, I need some imaginative escapism (and maybe I refuse to become an A-D-U-L-T)!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 16:05, 6 replies)

I too
play international spy and matrix.
( Trollman, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 16:07, closed)

I used to play Spy Hunter with the cat.
I had a roommate who had a Siamese cat named Tigger (really original there, Benny, you sit up all night thinking up that one?). At the time I worked for a seafood company, so the cat would follow me everywhere- I was his Best Friend Forever, as far as he was concerned, and he loved to sleep on my clothes.

Benny had extremely curly hair and very dry skin, so he couldn't shower every day- so in the morning he would get up and use a spray bottle to mist his hair and comb it out, then be ready to go.

I used to take the spray bottle and unscrew the tip to make it a stream instead of a mist, then hum the "Mission: Impossible" theme as I stalked the cat throughout the apartment, nailing him wherever he hid. After the cat got really annoyed I would stop and put the bottle away.

Only thing was, sometimes I forgot to adjust it back to mist, so Benny would get up in the morning and commit squirtgun suicide...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 13 Mar 2008, 16:56, closed)

Ah yes,
You should try to get hold of a film called 'The Waterloo Bridge Handicap', made in 1978. It's a short film starring Leonard Rossiter - I won't spoil it for you but do try.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 9:15, closed)

Once upon a time
I would have challenged you to the title of World Champion of Walking, as I never once lost a 'race'.

But, alas, the acquisition of motorised transport meant I soon lost my edge and I had to concede that I wouldn't hold the title for ever.

I still compete occasionally, but I'll never get the old form back again.
( Moey, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 16:34, closed)

Ah yes
The spy game!
Doesn't help that i've just bought a trenchcoat and walk around with the collar up either!
( vigilante_18 WHO SENT ALL THESE BABIES TO FIGHT?!?!, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 16:47, closed)

"retarded salmon"
just made my day
(tinyninja, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 17:34, closed)