I believed her…

I believed her when she said she loved me.

I believed her when she said she'd never cheat on me.

I believed her when she said she had got the nickname ‘Town Bike’ because of her love of the Tour De France.

I believed her when I found my best mate ‘hanging out the back’ of her one night and she said he had slipped on a stray tampon whilst they were rehearsing a ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ routine.

I believed her when I discovered she had single handedly given a portion to every one of the 12th Para Battalion (officers included) and she explained that she ‘thought it was part of national service’’

I believed her when I found her in bed with my Granddad…and Granny… and she said it was ‘a new bonus scheme by the Meals on Wheels people’.

I believed her when she cried…with laughter the first time she saw my full-on beef bazooka and said our lovemaking would be like ‘kicking a traffic cone down a runway’.

And that’s why I married her…twice.


Men can be gullible too, you know…





Sincere apologies to Wanderlust…I was just trying to lighten the mood.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 27 Aug 2008, 14:11, 12 replies)

'chucking a chip up the M1' shurely
Or sticking your cock out the window and fucking the night. Copyright some genius on here
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 14:32, closed)

Maybe not as heart-wrenching as Wanderlust's post but....
*giggles*

very funny.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 14:37, closed)

I've just Gazzed Wanderlust...
I'll keep it private what I said completely but it was something along the lines of:

"Ooh god I'm really really sorry...As soon as I posted it (sorry again) I thought 'maybe people were thinking I was replying personally to you (sorry again) when that wasn't what I meant at all...(more sorrys here). I do not condone the actions of violent cheating fuckspacks whatsover...I was just using your post's style to take the piss out of myself...(grovel). basically...

I am sooooooo dead."

Before I had the chance to send it, Wanderlust had already gazzed me saying she knew what I meant.

I reckon you could hear the sigh of relief from your place, BGB...

Thank flowery scented fuck that there are some people in the world more mature than me in the world.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 27 Aug 2008, 14:46, closed)

Oh...
In that case *laughs*
( Cawl, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 14:48, closed)

@pooflake
Errrr, thank god there are "some" people more mature than you?

Are you implying that there are people who are less mature than you then?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 14:52, closed)

Nice one Mr Flake
Once again you liven up the QOTW
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 27 Aug 2008, 14:53, closed)

Pooflake knows
If I was angry about his post (which I'm not at all) I'd just set MM on him!
( wanderlust, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 14:54, closed)

@Al...

^^Oh, yeah...loads of people...

*thinks*

erm...actually...no...no there aren't.

I always wanted to be the best at something...now I've found that it's immaturity.


yay!

Edit: @Wanderlust - Do your worst with your MM threats, she doesn't even know what I look like!

Oh, hang on.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 27 Aug 2008, 14:55, closed)

Poof Lake: The very best at being bad.
*shrugs*
( Cawl, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 14:58, closed)

@Kaol
I myself was wondering yesterday where the gap in the words should be...

Poo Flake, or Poof Lake? Having seen the pics from the recent meet, I'm undecided!

No offence intended, Mr (F)lake, I find your posts lighten up my work(!?)ing day!
(Jester_, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 16:00, closed)

Jester_
It's Poof Lake, his username used to be Gaypond.
( Cawl, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 16:08, closed)

*click*...reminds me....
Bloke that lives just up the road from you tells this story:

While in the forces, they were based for a while in Catterick. One of his comrades was recently betrothed to one of the NAAFI girls who had acquired a bit of a reputation prior to becoming engaged ready for settling down. One night over a few beers the groom to be was being ribbed by his pals about her past, and he was taking the bait:

Groom: " ....I don't know what you lot are getting at, it's not as if any of YOU married virgins, and anyway, she told me she only slept with one para....."
*pregnant pause*
Troop Sergeant: "One Para? What? All six hundred of them?"

Groom: *exit stage left in tears*
(Oil Slick, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 20:00, closed)