You light up my life
A while back, we fitted a security light outside with a PIR detector. Nothing unusual in that.

Our neighbour, who likes to "keep up with the Witch's", wanted to know where we'd got it and how much it cost. Just so that he could say his was better/cheaper/brighter, whatever. I was on my way out, and didn't want to get into a long debate about security lights and their wily ways, so threw him an off-the-cuff,

"Oh, that's a special one, it comes with a built in camera as well. Cost a bloody fortune in the shops, but MrWitch's mate happened to catch some as they fell off the back of a lorry."

To my utter astonishment, he believed me, and asked how the pictures were recorded. So I told him they went down the electricity lines and into the PC. I went off to the shops, convinced that he'd have sussed it out with the second remark. I got back a couple of hours later, and his wife was just getting into her car. She grinned at me (unusual in itself) and said,

"You were winding ***** up, weren't you? That's just a normal security light. Do me a favour - don't tell him. He wants one, and I said we'd check in B&Q at the weekend. Well, when I said we, I sure as heck won't be asking. Let him make an arse of himself."

This is not the most romantic of marriages, you'll have guessed. They've been married about 40 years, and he's spent most of it treating her like something you'd scrape off your shoe. She did, in fact, let him ask in B&Q for the magical security light-camera which was able to transmit pictures down electricity lines to a PC. I'm told the guy in the shop didn't even try to keep a straight face, just told him "someone's winding you up, mate."

Apparently he was going to give me a right piece of his mind (not that he's got much to spare) until his missus pointed out that I'd only yell right back at him. And probably laugh til I peed myself. He only browbeats his wife 'cos she puts up with it. It was about a year before he spoke to me again, which suited me just fine.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 27 Aug 2008, 15:43, 3 replies)

nice work Mrs!
*click*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 15:49, closed)

Clicks!
I have similar neighbours and take every chance I can get to wind them up.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 16:14, closed)