I'm cringing just thinking about this one
When I was 18 and about to head off to university, my mum took me out to town to buy a few things that I might need when living away from home for the first time. Pants and socks were on the list, and so we popped into Debenhams to see what they had.

I'd found a pack non-descript boxer shorts and I think ten pairs of black socks, when we went past the REDUCED! BARGAINS! table. There in the middle of the usual jumble of unsold clothes was a pair of shiny gold pants, marked down to a pound. I was quite a fan of Rocky Horror at the time and thought these would be brilliant should I ever have to dress up as Rocky, so I put them in the basket.

Whereupon my mother took them out again, held them up critically in front of the whole store, and said in her best I'm-a-headteacher-don't-you-know voice: "Will you be all right wearing these, because they haven't got one of those flyholes for you to wee through." Just across the aisle from us was a group of late-teen/early 20s girls.

Length? When every eye in the shop was on me I wished I could shrivel up and disappear altogether.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 17:45, Reply)