Spud flattening fun
Back in the dim 'n' distant, I ran my Uni Parachute Club, and organised the charity deals where you raised some sponsorship and a sadist kicked you out of an aircraft.

Before we headed off to the dropzone for the weekend, I would give my little speech about what to expect, what to bring etc and would finish with "and for the gentlemen present, do NOT repeat NOT wear boxer shorts". Some asked why, some didn't, some were already cacking themselves and were in their own little world of relaxed sphincters and false bravado.

Why? 'Cos when you depart the aircraft which is travelling at 90-100 knots, it takes a few seconds for the static line to pull the canopy out and for it to deploy(or turn into a bag of feckin' laundry, but that's another story). So you jump (trans: fall out like loosely tied sack of shit)out of fast moving plane, fall (squealing like lil piggy) for a few seconds and then DECELERATE very quickly. Parachute harness goes over your upper thighs. Where your full body weight is supported during deceleration.

And now the point - if, as you sit in the climbing aircraft in the correct knees up position, one of the old love spuds slithers its way out of loose fitting boxers and under your harness....

The victim was ahead of me in the jump and I did notice he seemed to be a bit subdued (no checking out the hard turns etc which most people do once the OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT I'M GONNA D.......Cool! bit is over.

For some reason, he declined jump number 2.

Oh, and if you ever see this Planty, I apologise for using the tale at the annual pissup/ awards dinner thing.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 14 Jul 2006, 10:13, Reply)